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Quite a good day at work

Posted 2nd September 2014 at 01:00 by iTz0kt0Bu

It feels like a weight has been lifted off me now that I realise I can't always agree with everyone realistically and that I'm alright. I don't know if this is just a happy phase though.

Today at work their was a new person doing work trail. So far I like the guy. This guy has been asking the boss for the job for a few months though. Even if this job doesn't work out for him, I respect the guy for his determination.

The guy told me he doesn't see me much, when he found out where I live, as he always hangs around there apparently.

This one thing pissed me off though; a colleague told me I'm so closed to the world just cause I hadn't seen a movie he mentioned. And to be honest, it is true that I lack social skills and am socially isolated due to a lack of socialising and growing up as a loner or cling on.

But at the same time that doesn't make the colleague better than me or anything. I get the feeling that sometimes I'm simplistically judged on my anxiety rather than judged like anyone else by some colleagues.

The affects of social isolation seem apparent at my job. But I guess I have to deal with it, maybe be more open about my anxiety and how it is a problem. I don't know if I would be more open about my anxiety though. Cause really, it's not a crime that I haven't watched many films and I don't think I deserve to be made to feel ashamed of that. Also anxiety can be an explanation for even being socially isolated in my estate.

Writing this, it really feels like although SA has had some bad affects on me they really aren't that bad. It's just like any other mental/behavioural problem.

I really wish I could feel this way most times though.

I wanna overcome this anxiety and although lacking social skills and popular culture knowledge can be isolating in 21st century Britain, it's not like these things can't be built. I'm not that keen on building popular culture knowledge for the mere sake of it though.

So yeah, maybe my isolated upbringing is not the ideal upbringing but to be honest many people don't grow up in the ideal way and have issues.

I expect to realistically still feel shame when it's pointed out I haven't watched x, I don't know y. I haven't done z but then I have to remember it's not that bad really. And I guess I can try exploring my own interests as well.
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