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In The Mood

Posted 23rd January 2015 at 13:21 by indigo777

Getting hard to believe in anything at all
But Fear.


I have started to take some pills called 5 HTP. They came from America and took 10 weeks to arrive which makes them sound dodgy. They are supposed to improve moods and have some good reviews although after 4 days I have noticed nothing so far. Perhaps you need to take 10 a day instead of one but they advised you to start slowly and build up so I'll wait and see. Some days my moods could be appallingly bad, so much so that...
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On Christmas Day

Posted 25th December 2014 at 19:58 by indigo777




so hard to move on
still loving what's gone


I went to the cemetery again this afternoon as I did last Christmas day. Its quite surprising how many people do. Not everyone is stuffing themselves with turkey and drunkenly watching TV all afternoon it seems.Despite trying to find things to fill my day the anxiety has increased from when I got home and the restlessness returned....
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More random cobblers

Posted 9th December 2014 at 13:00 by indigo777

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I remember being young and doing things and blushing and stuttering and feeling like a fool so I stopped doing things. Yes, thats basically why people become avoidant and are still SA into their forties. I remember teachers picking on me to read aloud in class to apparently encourage me and help me as I was shy. So I blushed and stuttered and the other kids took the piss out of me so I became worse and even shyer and even more avoidant....
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The Treasury Of All Things

Posted 30th November 2014 at 19:49 by indigo777


I often look at some of my older pictures for comfort. They bring back feelings of peace and contentment in times of stress. It helps in the same way a favourite song or TV program does.This was taken on a very warm May afternoon in 2010 on a walk in the Peak District not far from Bakewell. Its a lovely old leafy lane with virtually no traffic in the dappled shade of the trees. As usual I was alone but this time I...
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Laced with Madness

Posted 25th November 2014 at 20:10 by indigo777

In these shoes every step I take is laced with madness. They fill me with pain and confusion and with thoughts that are not my own
Moments of Pleasure - Kate Bush


One of the biggest problems with SA I ever had was learning social skills in the first place. Thats because when people already think of you as weird or strange they avoid you and dont want to know you.You often see advice to keep going out and meeting people and just naturally assuming you gradually learn...
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