Clothes shopping.
Posted 22nd October 2012 at 17:04 by Matt_1983
For me, there is danger around every corner, at the open of every door. A ringing phone sounds an alarm of doom. The doorbell rings and I panic. Everytime I leave my flat I hope I won't bump into my neighbours in the hallway. As I leave the building I feel a hundred pairs of eyes fix upon me from the building behind mine, judging me, observing my nervous walk. I round the corner, a sigh of relief no eyes are there to avoid. As I reach the main road I'm now into my deep breathing routine, desperate to feel as calm as is possible. I don't know what to do with my hands and arms, my legs feel uncoordinated and numb.
As I walk to town my mind wonders if today ill be anxious or fine. Well, when I say fine of course therell be some anxiety, there almost always is, but there's a huge difference between a bad day and a good. I walk the quiet way to town, where I won't see so many people or cars. Reaching town I head to the least threatening shops, avoiding anywhere too small where therell be a greater chance the staff will talk to me. I enter River Island and dart upstairs to the menswear, quickly seeing if there's anyone I know around. There's not, so I head to the quietest looking corner of the shop and start to look at the clothes. As I slowly shuffle along the rails, I fondle garments and pretend to look. In my head I see no tshirts or jeans, all I can focus on is who is around me and who might be of threat. A happy looking shop assistant gets too close and I turn and flee, out into the brief comfort of the open air, before reality hits and I realise anxiety never leaves.
As I walk to town my mind wonders if today ill be anxious or fine. Well, when I say fine of course therell be some anxiety, there almost always is, but there's a huge difference between a bad day and a good. I walk the quiet way to town, where I won't see so many people or cars. Reaching town I head to the least threatening shops, avoiding anywhere too small where therell be a greater chance the staff will talk to me. I enter River Island and dart upstairs to the menswear, quickly seeing if there's anyone I know around. There's not, so I head to the quietest looking corner of the shop and start to look at the clothes. As I slowly shuffle along the rails, I fondle garments and pretend to look. In my head I see no tshirts or jeans, all I can focus on is who is around me and who might be of threat. A happy looking shop assistant gets too close and I turn and flee, out into the brief comfort of the open air, before reality hits and I realise anxiety never leaves.
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