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coping with having children (and SA)

Posted 19th January 2012 at 04:45 by mhealer3

Originally Posted by ____
Having a kid would make me a better person and give me the motivation to live. Just need to get over my fear of relationships
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i agree with that. i was never any good at dating,
& i never expected to get married.
but being a 'couple' really made me want to do my best 4 my mate.
as a mom, i aspired 2 be great. better than anyone ever expected of me.
(my family had let me know they didn't think much of me as a nurturer).

being a parent was about something much greater than 'me'.
it felt like the highest calling i'd ever know: the priviledge of imparting to
another person the things to enrich their lives--
(so it would be better than mine had been).

it was insufferable when i made mistakes though, because i felt so destroyed
over how it would affect the kids, blah blah.(it still haunts me).

in the end, it's a mixed bag of memories.(kids are 20yrs old now).
another chance 2 4give myself for being imperfect, forgiving my failings.

my best lesson has been: to be real with my kids about my faults,
while assuring them they can take the good qualities
about me into themselves & leave the bad behind.
i want them 2 know they are free to NOT be like me(in some ways).
(same goes for their dad, of course.)
i mean--i tell them to conciously be thankful 4 what they like about dad;
then FORGIVE HIM 4 the crap,&not feel tthat hey HAVE TO be like that.
this freedom to 4give is what i give my children.
then they will also be able to 4give themselves when necessary--
instead of suffering endless years like i have.

(my own parents were emotional cripples & deadly to any young soul.)

i give all the Glory to my merciful God, that i live well in spite of it all.
He 4gave me & i have to recieve it every day, just to go on.
my best wishes to you friends.
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