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I enjoy writing and am seeking to clarify my thoughts, feelings and internal process.
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Hiatus

Posted 14th June 2014 at 10:13 by Star Rainbow
Tags rest

More love, more space, less mind.

Lost - by David Wagoner •1976

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.

The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.

No two trees are the...
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Trauma and true healing

Posted 7th June 2014 at 09:25 by Star Rainbow

I have this inner tyrant, a bossy headmistress. She likes to proclaim 'stuff and nonsense' when I attempt to act from my true nature: shy, sensitive, reflective. She would have me polish my shoes, straighten my tie and 'get out there' and do more. Get on with it gal!

At times that strict voice can be very subtle, or show up as an attitude of comparing and measuring myself and my 'achievements' Finding that I fall short of the required standard. She would award a grade C- 'could do...
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Rest and reboot

Posted 4th June 2014 at 08:03 by Star Rainbow

Sunday I could barely move all day. All the excitement, overstimulation and emotional drama of the week, well it corpsed me and I surrendered. There's a difference between deciding to take a rest day as prevention/maintenance and having a day of enforced shut-down that I don't have control over.

Thankfully I didnt mentally resist, in the past, such episodes trigger mind-fear and alarm, what if I'm broken and can't recover my energy? What did I (or anyone else) do wrong to cause this...
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Too much of a good thing

Posted 1st June 2014 at 08:31 by Star Rainbow

I dont know how or why but life these days, well... I would prefer to be gently paddling down that merry stream, carefree and languid in dappled sunlight, dangling one hand in the calm, cool waters.

In reality, I am clutching at the mane of a wild stallion who is tearing through the forest, I am bouncing around on its back, barely seated, holding on for dear life etc

Ultra busy with an unstoppable chain of events, people and places, too much of everything. Maybe its...
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Losing myself and coming home again

Posted 28th May 2014 at 09:08 by Star Rainbow

I lost myself again. I can only make that comment when I recognise the lostness, usually that means I am on the journey home.

Shall I describe the circumstances that led to the separation? Somehow that doesnt feel relevant. They are floating, causal factors, that's all. It can be this, or that; he said, she said, I went here, I went there.

The basic equation is - overstimulation + too much activity/people =get tired and over stressed. Feel tired and low. Try to fix...
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