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what happens after divorce.

Posted 15th January 2012 at 04:14 by mhealer3

dear r____,
thanks for the message & hope you stay strong during your separation.
my divorce was like being torn apart.
at first i didn't notice it, because i was kinda numb.
but after the numb wears off, there's a lot
of crud underneath that hits u like a truck.
i've heard that many start drinking at that time, & i don't blame them.
i tried it, but it's just not my thing.

but when the panic hit me: ('i...
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still here...

Posted 14th January 2012 at 16:55 by mhealer3

still waiting 4 something outrageously good to happen
i lost my little job, but those people were mean anyway.

i have to keep believing for something terrific coming or i couldn't go on.

in the meantime, i count my smaller blessings, &
go about whatever i can find to do...

like--i started volunteering a little (with the elderly homebound in my community). we bring them a hot lunch. i only volunteer once per week...
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A dug ditch.

Posted 10th January 2012 at 18:43 by Matt_1983
Updated 10th January 2012 at 18:47 by Matt_1983 (dcdcd)

I search for an answer, words pop up and pass through my brain, assesed for worthiness, rejected again. I panic slightly as the seconds tick and my mouth remains shut and my dry fake smile wobbles. My lovely work colleague Paul, stood by my side all smiles and inoccent chat, awaits a response to his story about the ditch he dug at the weekend, in the path behind his shed. I scream inside my head and beg for words, any words, to drop from my lazy lips and pop the sense of awkwardness that builds...
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A new year a new me?

Posted 1st January 2012 at 00:39 by warmness

I lost a vast amount of weight in 2011 and I can look back with pride my confidents has grown and I can now be myself a little more. .. New year. new slate. I feel as if the old me has vanished

Earlier bedtimes, better diet, confident me? oh I think so!
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Does anyone actually hate themselves...I mean everything about themselves?

Posted 29th December 2011 at 02:34 by mhealer3

Originally Posted by mhealer3 View Post
i'm happy with myself, but this is recent.
most of my life i ran from the shame i felt inside.
i had 2 be busy because it distracted me from feeling desperately lost.

the way i got from hating myself to liking myself was-- by forgiving myself.
i heard that God 4gave all my sins in JC, and i was glad to embrace that good news.
since i learned that God loved me, i have become more & more free.
yes, it took 40 years, but i
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