Thoughts on lifestyle
Posted 3rd August 2017 at 02:51 by Amara 94
With my job, through an agency, I have been given no work from this week until the 21st August. The agency can give me more work but I decided to take a break. Tbh, most of the jobs are kitchen portering and I hate the jobs, they don't suit me.
During this break I haven't done much, too anxious to go out. I've just been music producing and sound designing on my DAW, it does feel I do it too much but then it feels like I wouldn't learn as much if I didn't.
Work adds structure but if I'm honest I don't like the work I'm doing. It's depressing thinking about it. And tbh i don't think I would like most jobs, it's not really the job is just a that I feel I usually find it hard to get on with coworkers. When I go work I'm not occupied however my coworker seems to dislike me, is always ready to try and say that I'm doing a job wrong and my manager always calls me halfway through a task. And more stuff, I think I'm not suited for the catering industry. I'm just getting by with life.
I'm 23 and with no life really, no close friends I see face to face, luckily one I WhatsApp though. Idk if I would like a busier life, I feel that it would mean less time to pursue interests but I would like to feel part of something or connected to a group of people.
I know the online world isn't 100% true but I follow a vlogger who is 30, lives in airbnb's, survives though jobs such as taskrabbit, Uber etc, doesn't work under direct bosses. Skates everyday in a Boosted board. He isn't like the typical city dweller. While I don't want to be like him, I find his life really unstructured, I envy his freedom and how his life seems careless. This thought came up as I was thinking of the typical responsible Londoner, probably a false image, but I was thinking of a hard worker who does work they probably find boring, thinks work is meant to be boring, is conformist and expects others to confirm. It's depressing, I feel like I'm supposed to match that image cause they are responsible, don't cause any problems and so on but to me being that way feels like I would be sacrificing a part of myself. Idk if that mindset is irrational or not.
During this break I haven't done much, too anxious to go out. I've just been music producing and sound designing on my DAW, it does feel I do it too much but then it feels like I wouldn't learn as much if I didn't.
Work adds structure but if I'm honest I don't like the work I'm doing. It's depressing thinking about it. And tbh i don't think I would like most jobs, it's not really the job is just a that I feel I usually find it hard to get on with coworkers. When I go work I'm not occupied however my coworker seems to dislike me, is always ready to try and say that I'm doing a job wrong and my manager always calls me halfway through a task. And more stuff, I think I'm not suited for the catering industry. I'm just getting by with life.
I'm 23 and with no life really, no close friends I see face to face, luckily one I WhatsApp though. Idk if I would like a busier life, I feel that it would mean less time to pursue interests but I would like to feel part of something or connected to a group of people.
I know the online world isn't 100% true but I follow a vlogger who is 30, lives in airbnb's, survives though jobs such as taskrabbit, Uber etc, doesn't work under direct bosses. Skates everyday in a Boosted board. He isn't like the typical city dweller. While I don't want to be like him, I find his life really unstructured, I envy his freedom and how his life seems careless. This thought came up as I was thinking of the typical responsible Londoner, probably a false image, but I was thinking of a hard worker who does work they probably find boring, thinks work is meant to be boring, is conformist and expects others to confirm. It's depressing, I feel like I'm supposed to match that image cause they are responsible, don't cause any problems and so on but to me being that way feels like I would be sacrificing a part of myself. Idk if that mindset is irrational or not.
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