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It's hard to be myself

Posted 23rd July 2019 at 18:58 by mutedsoul

I spent the last hour procrastinating on writing this. That must say something. I'm feel both motivated and deterred to write this.

A few weeks ago in a Whats App convo my cousin said about how I was always so serious and that I should be myself. This advice was similar to ther ex-colleague who ghosted me prior to her ghosting me.

Weirdly, or not so weirdly, right now I feel a bit angry with my cousin and like I don't want to connect with her. Not just for her telling...
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Old

Something needs to change

Posted 6th May 2019 at 20:20 by mutedsoul

So I have been a Temporary Kitchen Porter in a Central London office block that I work at since about January.

Last week I decided to say that I want to go permanent, as they are apparently looking for a permanent kitchen porter. However my mind has changed and I am most likely gonna turn down the offer.

As usual, I haven't really made any friends or close acquaintances at the workplace. That isn't accurate, one office worker has been interested in speaking to me and...
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Old

Fear of Rejection

Posted 24th April 2019 at 19:52 by indigo777

The fear of rejection often comes up. This is usually from the view of males as of course men are almost always expected to approach and befriend women if they dont want to end alone as most women never make the first move beyond smiling and the odd hello if you are lucky. You almost always get the advice of just go talk to women all the time and get used to it, get used to rejection! Go speak to old cashiers at the supermarket. Nothing bad can happen so what have you got to lose? etc.
...
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Old

Aspergers and social anxiety

Posted 14th January 2019 at 14:13 by indigo777

It was very interesting to watch the BBC show Aspergers and Me by Chris Packham again. I am a fan of his having watched almost all British wildlife shows for the last 40 odd years and already knew of his condition.

Nevertheless it was surprising how many things aspergers has in common with social anxiety. He struggles in social situations and has not been to a party for a decade. He would not even go to a wedding with his partner or the graduation of his step daughter. Yes, he has...
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Old

2 Steps forward and 2 steps back

Posted 11th November 2018 at 20:59 by mutedsoul

I feel there has been quite a few changes for me in 2018.
  • I started a College course
  • My sister left off to university
  • I met a supportive colleague
  • I did a full time job that was the highest paying job I have had

I feel I have felt a varied spectrum of emotions this year, although more tilted towards the negative side.

This week has been great as I gave myself a haircut, have been going gym so things looked positive. However, on the social aspect it has been...
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