This week I have did part time office cleaning work through my agency, Monday to Friday, 6am to 10am. I am set on a contract to do this until February. Also, I don't think it's a phase but I decided to take music production more seriously and build more of an understanding on mixing and synths. This made me have the opinion that I would rather a simple life and simple job, even if it's low skilled and minimum wage, over a proffessional office career as I would like to be able to devote time to learning...

After The Tech City programme I hit my lowest point. Idk if it is bad enough to be called depression but I remember breaking my pens just to express my anger. I am way too cautious and poor to break anything that feels valuable. The upcoming Saturday I couldn't get out of bed and just felt really negative. I needed to talk to The Samaritans to discuss how I felt. If I think about it I have felt the same this Christmas minus the anger. But then I guess one benefit of The Tech City Star programme...

Ok, so going induction to Tech City Stars I was nervous however I was also motivated and excited especially as I was around other motivated peers, a huge difference from the warehouse job. There were also quite a few people that were socially awkward like me and quiet, not everyone though. By the end of the course I still managed to make no friends, unintentionally gave weird eye contact and I feel was even less liked by the coaches on the programmes due to them probably not understanding social...

(This is the longest blog I've written, I was just writing my thoughts out didn't think too much of what I was writing)

So 2017 is here. How did I spend my christmas holidays?

In all honesty I didn't do much, the only social thing I did was attend one meetup. In fact, I think I have been the laziest I have been. I have geeked out with music production though, watched more in depth tutorials, and feel that I may be improving on my technical knowledge of production, it's...

As some of you are aware I went for an aspergers diagnosis a few months ago and was told that I am just anxious. I don't feel I buy the psychiatrist assessment or even my local NHS when it comes to finding a good therapist to help treat my SA.

Sometimes I feel that maybe anxiety might be just the problem I struggle with. However, I also wonder why I literally feel socially blind.

At the moment I am on a programme in with about 40 other peers yet I haven't bonded with...