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  1. Old Comment

    A Grand Day Out

    Nice pics
    Posted 7th November 2014 at 17:59 by mutedsoul mutedsoul is offline
  2. Old Comment
    indigo777's Avatar

    A Grand Day Out

    Thanks silver,

    I'm a bit up and down at the moment.
    Posted 6th November 2014 at 17:27 by indigo777 indigo777 is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Silver's Avatar

    A Grand Day Out

    Wow amazing pics. I love matlock bath, it is one of my favourite places but I have never been this time of year, I always tend to go in the summer

    I hope you are doing okay
    Posted 6th November 2014 at 15:30 by Silver Silver is offline
  4. Old Comment
    indigo777's Avatar

    Hot Chocolate

    Yes, I suppose it seems quite normal and uneventful to most people.Mind you so does having a relationship and children. Its the old problem of thinking if this will help me at all or I am yet again just doing anything because other people say it helps them. I really have difficulty imagining reading a book and enjoying it in the presence of others talking around me.if there were too many people I would feel in the way and if there was no one I would feel too noticeable. Another problem as I have written above is that I often get worse and more and more paranoid rather than relaxing and responding positively to exposure. I think this goes back to work where people really did take the piss out of me and ridicule me for being weird and quiet so I hid. It still sometimes happens now when out walking alone. I also sometimes sweat, blush stutter and become extremely agitated when feeling under pressure so looking normal is a problem.Even ordering a drink would make me rehearse it over and over in my head as I queue and be worried my voice would be weak or incomprehensible. I could probably go to a coffee shop once but the more I went back the more awkward I would become as I imagined rightly or wrongly the same people who would start to notice me as weird and then judge me. Obviously its not just paranoia as the same thing has happened on SAUK with the same clique only stalking to each other.
    Posted 16th October 2014 at 12:58 by indigo777 indigo777 is offline
  5. Old Comment

    Hot Chocolate

    I don't like going to a coffee shop near where I live as I would be nervous about making small talk etc with people that know me.
    However when in large towns or cities I don't have any problems being in a coffee shop in my own as it feels anonymous to me. Sometimes I just go in and buy a bottle of water/coke and sit down and look out the window for 30 minutes if I'm feeling tired. Other times I might listen to music on my mp3 player, read a paper or read a book.
    Plus I think going to read a book on your own at a coffee shop is extremely popular. I see a lot of people doing it, it's portrayed in films and hear people say they do it all the time.
    For me in these kind of situations it helps to just look around you. I think if you sat down in the coffee shop and looked up about it for one minute, you would see that everyone is too busy doing there own thing and wouldn't be paying any attention to you. Plus if the coffee shop you were in had three loan people in it, I'm sure they get maybe twenty/thirty people coming on their own to the coffee shop everyday. They probably wouldn't remember anyone unless they went regularly for a really long time and even then they wouldn't pay much attention.
    Though I know it's hard doing something new and I always hate it. Though once I do it once on my own, my opinion usually changes about how I would feel when doing it.
    Posted 15th October 2014 at 01:02 by Ezio Ezio is offline
  6. Old Comment
    indigo777's Avatar

    Hot Chocolate

    Yes, I think fiddling with something makes people feel more comfortable as if they were still in contact with others or in the office and having a coffee at their desk(only without any annoying work colleagues!) If I went alone I would need something to fiddle with so I didn't become paranoid about being a weird loner.I dont have a smartphone or tablet so I would probably have to take a book. I think I'd still feel like I stood out though.
    Posted 14th October 2014 at 23:06 by indigo777 indigo777 is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Silver's Avatar

    Hot Chocolate

    Although I was with my friend I was happy to see three lone people in there as if being alone in a coffee shop was perfectly normal. I suppose it is for others. Of course they were all younger and fiddling on their phones and tablets but they were still alone

    Yep that's me, Im always looking at my phone if I sit in starbucks or costa alone, it somehow makes me feel less alone.
    Posted 14th October 2014 at 15:15 by Silver Silver is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Debs28's Avatar

    Mustn't grumble.

    Thats good to hear xx
    Posted 5th September 2014 at 11:55 by Debs28 Debs28 is offline
  9. Old Comment
    indigo777's Avatar

    Mustn't grumble.

    Thanks.

    Feeling better today. Due to stay with friend for a while.
    Posted 5th September 2014 at 11:43 by indigo777 indigo777 is offline
  10. Old Comment
    Debs28's Avatar

    Mustn't grumble.

    Hey just saying hello. Can hear your pain so loudly. Not really sure what else to say but wanted you to know I heard you xx
    Posted 5th September 2014 at 11:33 by Debs28 Debs28 is offline
  11. Old Comment
    Debs28's Avatar

    Here Comes the Rain Again

    haha great picture! Glad you enjoyed it xx
    Posted 28th August 2014 at 16:40 by Debs28 Debs28 is offline
  12. Old Comment
    indigo777's Avatar

    Here Comes the Rain Again

    Thanks debs. I did enjoy my walk mostly as it didn't rain hard until I was coming home. I even came across some fighting knights at the medieval festival.

    Posted 27th August 2014 at 20:01 by indigo777 indigo777 is offline
  13. Old Comment
    Debs28's Avatar

    Here Comes the Rain Again

    This blog is so heartfelt. I really felt it when you said about seeing other people I'm couples and groups. I get that too. Something about the pain of being alone but wanting to be alone is so familiar. I hope you did enjoy your walk and I really liked the picture you used too xx
    Posted 27th August 2014 at 17:18 by Debs28 Debs28 is offline
  14. Old Comment
    indigo777's Avatar

    Walking for pleasure(part 26)

    Thanks silver,

    I often do listen to music, wear sunglasses and wear a peak cap. I sometimes feel like I need a tank.I think now. its mostly young ignorant males who only say something in a group to sort of prove themselves to the others like some sort of latent chimpanzee alpha male behavior. Despite its probably always the best thing to walk on I still have an urge to go back, find him and attack. It makes me jumpy every time I see a group of people.Why should lone people just out for a walk have to put up with that?
    Posted 18th August 2014 at 11:53 by indigo777 indigo777 is offline
  15. Old Comment
    Silver's Avatar

    Walking for pleasure(part 26)

    honestly some people are pure scum....well they are the ones with the problem believe me....anyone who feels the need to put someone else down for no reason at all has serious problems...they were probably drunk or drugged up and as hard as it is dont take it personally. But yes I think you may have a point as all the times people have made me jump by shouting out of car windows, I was in a day dream or looking down. Would going out listening to music on earphones help at all as a distraction? Sorry this happened to you, it has happened to me too dont let it get you down
    Posted 17th August 2014 at 22:47 by Silver Silver is offline
  16. Old Comment
    indigo777's Avatar

    Bogey Face

    Hi,
    Thanks for your comment. I hope you still had a good walk. It is hard sometimes though. People talk about going for a walk as good for mental health like we all live in the Lake District or countrysides instead of grotty areas of towns and cities and see gangs of kids or yobbos around every corner. I think we have to remember that only stupid, young or ignorant people say bad things so its them at fault,not us and always best to ignore them if possible.
    Best wishes.
    Posted 16th August 2014 at 19:34 by indigo777 indigo777 is offline
  17. Old Comment

    Bogey Face

    I know exactly what you mean n how you feel I even cross the road so I dont have to walk near idiots like that n have panic attacks when I do n I dont think its being bored I think its being childish n rude but at least you stuck up for yourself n said no you didnt want to eat a horrible bogey I would probs have a panic attack n run off so well done you I think thays very brave ***9786; I force myself to go on long walks to get out of my house 2 n then you get silly little kids making us think why bother im only gonna get people saying nasty comments n things. I dont even have facebook cos I dont want people to be nosey or nasty at me my husband n my 18 month old baby boy thats just what I think this world has turned into to much b****ing im gonna go on a walk today tho and try to egnore people starring or talking bout me or saying nasty things Im not gonna be to scared to go shop again today lol not fair on my baby he deserves fresh air x
    Posted 14th August 2014 at 08:06 by kirstycookxxx kirstycookxxx is offline
  18. Old Comment
    indigo777's Avatar

    My Sweet Lord

    Thanks, I have scoured all the meetup groups but little seems of much use in the local area. I also dont trust myself with other people. Living in a perpetual state of overwhelming sadness does not give me the confidence to make engaging conversation with strangers even if I had no SA and any subjects to talk about apart from TV. Being painfully SA is hard to deal with among total strangers, being painfully SA and depressed,enraged much more so.
    Posted 27th July 2014 at 19:24 by indigo777 indigo777 is offline
  19. Old Comment
    Silver's Avatar

    My Sweet Lord

    I talk to myself when im on my own too have done for years i find it comforting when im alone. I hope you feel better soon. Maybe you could set yourself a goal to try and go to a walking group once a month or something
    Posted 27th July 2014 at 09:08 by Silver Silver is offline
  20. Old Comment
    indigo777's Avatar

    Blue Sky Thinking

    Thanks, sorry I did not reply earlier as I was staying with friend for the last week and a bit and was offline. I hope you enjoyed your fish pedicure. Its a good job the crayfish did not bite.
    Posted 25th July 2014 at 23:01 by indigo777 indigo777 is offline

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