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Clothes shopping.

Posted 22nd October 2012 at 17:04 by Matt_1983

For me, there is danger around every corner, at the open of every door. A ringing phone sounds an alarm of doom. The doorbell rings and I panic. Everytime I leave my flat I hope I won't bump into my neighbours in the hallway. As I leave the building I feel a hundred pairs of eyes fix upon me from the building behind mine, judging me, observing my nervous walk. I round the corner, a sigh of relief no eyes are there to avoid. As I reach the main road I'm now into my deep breathing routine, desperate...
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Old

making a journey

Posted 9th June 2012 at 14:27 by warmness

Omg I cant believe I travelled all the way from solihull to mansfield by trains yesterday *tired*
So determind to see my boyfriend having a mental breakdown in the middle of nowhere wasnt even an option for me, was in proper A to B mode lol.
Im sooo proud of myself was totally on my own with no family to pick me up, felt quite independant for once, had to interact with people to make sure i was on the right train and stuff, havent just randomly spoke to a person in years and...
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Old

June 2012

Posted 8th June 2012 at 21:15 by Matt_1983
Updated 13th June 2012 at 16:49 by Matt_1983 (You are)

I'm not like all the other boys. Empty and dulled, down and alone. Dripping through days I'm amazed I can face. Facebook friends I wouldn't look in the eye boast of happiness of Bank Holiday highs gone by, friends and girlfriends, sunshine on a rainy weekend.

And I sit and I cry, tears slide into a whizzed up swash of downward spirals, washing the pain. I'm not like all the other boys, I'm dieing and drained, tired of this game, this bottomless barrel of torture and pain.
...
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Old

Crash mode :error

Posted 3rd June 2012 at 16:53 by warmness

Im feeling really unstable today,shaking, erratic breathing, crying, im feeling the lot. I really need some support from people on top of it all I have self hating going on, and feel down so i have no chance of fighting it at the moment. I just need someone to hug me
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Old

Birthday Blues

Posted 26th May 2012 at 01:20 by Drimma



Yesterday [25th] was my 26th birthday
Oh shit I'm old

I hadn't planned to do anything and was in fact hiding it from all until a text from Eric a friend enquiring where the merry beers where to be had that I decided to concoct something to save face. My younger sister followed shortly by offering to take me to the cinema; a pleasant surprise considering we're not always the...
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