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does anyone else think their SA is inherited?

Posted 27th January 2012 at 18:51 by mhealer3

Quote:
Originally Posted by mhealer3 View Post
bad family dynamics or parents with mental problems/alcohol abuse??

i strongly believe problems get 'passed down' to us,
--whether knowingly or not.

only since i'm older have i been able to see the 'whole-life' patterns that
trace from unmet needs, & fears from childhood.

my own parents had terrible childhoods, so i guess
they were doing the best they could for me, but it was still terrible.

i think there was improvement
...
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Old

anyone ever just let themselves go completly because of SA?

Posted 27th January 2012 at 01:10 by mhealer3

I've done that a number of times. Stopped shaving, didn't shower or wash my hair. Ate like a pig, drank too much alcohol, went to bed very late and got up late. Festered away basically. It was strangely therapeutic at times. An abandonment of having to care. Maybe it gave me space to just be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mhealer3 View Post
thanks 4 that
i'm glad you spin it so that people don't feel condemned
for 'zoning-out' awhile.

it's a lovely way of saying that we needn't have guilt for halted routines.
...
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Old

coping with having children (and SA)

Posted 19th January 2012 at 04:45 by mhealer3

Originally Posted by ____
Having a kid would make me a better person and give me the motivation to live. Just need to get over my fear of relationships
******************************
i agree with that. i was never any good at dating,
& i never expected to get married.
but being a 'couple' really made me want to do my best 4 my mate.
as a mom, i aspired 2 be great. better than anyone ever expected of me.
(my family had let me know they didn't...
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Old

i like my online 'friends'...

Posted 19th January 2012 at 01:57 by mhealer3

isn't it nice meeting people without the pressure of face-2-face?
i like it because we r all here to exchange ideas & offer opinions.
we come voluntarily.
we are strangers,
but yet have very much in common.
we can interact fearlessly here, & politely.
i think there's so much less JUDGEMENT in this type of exchange.
no yelling,or arguing like can happen in person.
i dare 2 say that this type of commonality is what the best...
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Old

what happens after divorce.

Posted 15th January 2012 at 04:14 by mhealer3

dear r____,
thanks for the message & hope you stay strong during your separation.
my divorce was like being torn apart.
at first i didn't notice it, because i was kinda numb.
but after the numb wears off, there's a lot
of crud underneath that hits u like a truck.
i've heard that many start drinking at that time, & i don't blame them.
i tried it, but it's just not my thing.

but when the panic hit me: ('i...
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