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Beep 9th July 2018 14:39

Child-self Murder
 
I’m just going to put this out there…

Kind of a ‘how normal is it?’ question –

Just to clarify firstly, I am far from an aggressive person, never been in a fight, I don’t like gore films, don’t fantasise about murder or pain onto others.
However - For years now I have fantasised about murdering myself as a child (NOT ADULT).

These images can get quite alarmingly violent, and are triggered by any thoughts about myself as a child. I don’t necessarily hate myself now as an adult, but as a child I’m filled with so much hatred.

As a child I never did anything ‘evil’, I was just an embarrassment.

Anyone else get this?

Beep 10th July 2018 10:16

Re: Child-self Murder
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by HermannHesse (Post 2392859)
No, and I don't really understand what you mean.

However, it doesn't strike me as particularly rare. I think extreme thoughts are fairly normal for anyone who lets their mind wander. It does indicate some sort of emotion that the brain is playing with, trying to make sense of, perhaps not very well. There is a word for it in psychology, which I can't remember. But it's not uncommon. It's a well-known aspect of the interplay between the reptilian brain and frontal cortex that the brain can conjure up dark thoughts, almost as a way to test its own boundaries and to extract meaning from the extremes of thought: killing parents; throwing your husband under a bus; women smearing jam for their pet dog to enjoy, are some of the more mundane examples.

None of it is very healthy and it should be monitored closely to ensure such delusions don't become a fixation of any sort. But it's not uncommon. Humans are weird. Everyone is secretly insane.

I have heard something like that before, about because you're mind makes a big deal about it, you mind is then encouraged to think such thoughts more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by A lump of Excrement (Post 2392952)
Just to clarify, as an adult now you imagine meeting your child self and murdering them?

Yep, I'll walk into a room and see myself sobbing in a corner for example, but it's the child version of me, wearing clothes that I recognise from when I was younger.


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