Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

Would you get in contact with old school friends who are looking for you?

I have the opportunity through the Friends Reunited Website but I am worried about how I will come across to them. My secondary school days were great, a good laugh, got up to allsorts of things, was in the top gang (which was an achievment back then) etc. Obviously many years have passed and I am completely different to how I was. SA was not really a part of me then, I managed to put a brave front on anything that worried me, now I tend to hide away. I am scared that they will expect me to be like I was. I also worry that I will feel like I have nothing to say on the day. On the other hand I would love to see them and find out what they have been up to.

What would you do?

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

I would say why not, it doesn't sound like you had a bad experience at school. And surely both you and your friends will have changed over the years so I doubt theres any expectation of you in one way or another as they will have changed too most likely.

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

Hi Claireabell,

I think the fact that some of your old school friends want to see you again is a good thing and shows that their still thinking about you. My names been on the site for about a year and I’ve not had a single message, in fact I've walked passed some of my old classmates in my Town Centre before and they haven’t even acknowledged me. :embarass:

I Agree with Dakota, that people and their lives change, you never know how things might have turned out for other people, some may well have the same concerns as you.

Sometimes it’s all too easy to put yourself down; I’d make a mental list of the things I feel I have achieved, also I’d think of a couple of things that I’d like to do in the future and have a few reasons why. No harm in being prepared. Although I suspect that most of the talk will be more about the things you got up too while at school.

To be honest a School Reunion is a little out of my league at the moment, but if I was to go to something like this, what I would do is arrange for a friend to call me on my mobile after an hour or so of being there just to check everything was ok, if I wasn’t enjoying it or felt uncomfortable I would use the call as an excuse and say something like "Sorry something’s come up and I have to go" I would then take the numbers of the people I wanted to see again and maybe arrange to meet them another time, properly in a smaller group or on a one to one level. (But then I'm a bit sneaky :embarass: )

I’m actually pretty envious of you for even thinking of going, who knows what might happen, maybe new friendships, or you could gain a little inspiration from your old classmates and that might improve things for you.

Oh, don’t get too drunk, the geeky one might try to take advantage.

If you do decide to go, I would be interested to hear how it went.


JPol.

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

I have visited 'Friends Reunited'. I have been in touch with 2 old school friends. One from junior school and one from secondary school. We e-mailed saying what we were up to in our lives now and recalled the stories, people we remembered from the past and there it ended. Too many years have passed and for me, they were strangers - totally different people. Most of my old 'class-mates' have not contacted me - they either disliked me or cannot remember me as I was so quiet!

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

Personally I wouldn't get in touch with 'Friends Reunited', but I believe that is down to the extent of my SA.

I would be interested though to know what some of the others in my year are up too now, I suppose that makes me really nosey?

If you had good experiences at school then maybe you should rekindle those friendships.

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

I think I've had two replies from F.U.
One had got the wrong person the other was a newspaper reporter looking for dirt on an actress that was in the year below me at school.

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

i've been on friends united since it practically started... no one has contacted me and i have contacted no one... school were not the best days of my life unfortunately!

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

Hmm ... four people I used to know have been in touch through FR, but none are still around.

Basically, like Kellee said .. you catch up and tell each other what you're doing now then theres nothing left to say anymore.

Even an ex-girlfriend contacted me and it was exactly the same ritual .. we caught up, said how funky things are, and that was the end of that.

Pointless exercise, although it did prove to me that I can't live in the past ... it's gone. They're not the same and nor am I.

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

I replied and received an email back with a mobile number to ring. I just haven't had the courage to ring it, I am feeling a bit down at the moment but as soon as I perk up I will ring and arrange to go for a coffee or something stronger.

Claire

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

Good luck with that, Claireabell. Take a deep breathe, dial and go for it! :D

At worst, you'll have a great time remembering what you used to get up to:dancing_b

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

hi everyone,
I have same dilemma myself. I saw 1 friend from primary school. who I am still debating about saying hello to in person . while at the same time? I still see a name of 1 person from the same class in primary school. I joined up for the year. do it when i'm ready?

Re: Friends Reunited - Dilemma
 

My school reunion was quite a turning point for me. Everyone had bullied me at school, and yet at the reunion they all treated me like a normal person. It was amazing!

After the reunion, I realised that it's not necessary to hide what happened to me at school, and no one will think less of me now because I was bullied all those years ago. That doesn't mean that I shout about it from the rooftops, but it's good to know that I don't have to keep it secret.

Also through Friends Reunited I got in contact with 4 really nice (now) women. One in particular encouraged me to unburden myself to her and told me about social anxiety.

Maybe I was lucky, but if you had a good time at school I don't see any reason not to go for it.