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-   -   Awkward situation (http://www.social-anxiety-community.org/db/showthread.php?t=12197)

P74 9th December 2006 16:43

Awkward situation
 
I need some advice. Basically I live at home with my parents (I'm 32) and my SA is still affecting me badly. Anyway in an effort to 'help' me, my dad suggested I go with him to a car club he's a member of. I've been a few times and the people I've met have been friendly and it can be a laugh but I'm just not interested. The problem is I can't really get out of it now (even though I want to) as my dad's view is going to this club (once a month, as well as other events they hold) is better than nothing, which in somes ways I suppose is true. They're trying to arrange a trip abroad which is turning into a nightmare and I'm involved in that. I just don't know how to get out of this as my dad seems to take this seriously and it would almost be a case of having to leave home!

Any advice please?

Mr biscuits. 10th December 2006 17:55

Re: Awkward situation
 
I can see why youre not getting much response to this question...what can one say? You dont want to go to the car club...neither would I.. sounds like the dullest thing in the world but you also feel you have to go and cant get out of it cos youll let your dad down...in my experience when you go along with things just because others want you to it usually turns out bad ,but then if you dont go you might just sit at home and feel bad for not going.... saying that I certainly wouldnt go, SA or not...not sure if this counts as any sort of advice...good luck whatever you choose.

egg 11th December 2006 12:33

Re: Awkward situation
 
Hi. Isn't it horrible when there are so many akward situations. You sound just like me. Being asked to do things that you can't but not wanting to let people down & say no & make excuses. As your dad is aware of the situation maybe you can explain that the trip abroad is just too much for you at the moment but keep going to the club once a month. Everyone has their limits. There is a difference between exposing yourself to situations gradually to increase your confidence & chucking yourself in at the deep end. I hope this helps. I have just had my mother in law begging me to go for a meal with long lost family members that I haven't met before. Having her say please don't let me down is agony. I know that I can't go. She doesn't know there is a problem & it's really getting me down knowing that my other half will have to go alone (again) & he'll have to try & lie which he is crap at. Hope everything works out - your dad sounds great, it's good that you can tell him what's going on.

jontyboyoh 11th December 2006 14:05

Re: Awkward situation
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by egg
Hi. Isn't it horrible when there are so many akward situations. You sound just like me. Being asked to do things that you can't but not wanting to let people down & say no & make excuses. As your dad is aware of the situation maybe you can explain that the trip abroad is just too much for you at the moment but keep going to the club once a month. Everyone has their limits. There is a difference between exposing yourself to situations gradually to increase your confidence & chucking yourself in at the deep end. I hope this helps. I have just had my mother in law begging me to go for a meal with long lost family members that I haven't met before. Having her say please don't let me down is agony. I know that I can't go. She doesn't know there is a problem & it's really getting me down knowing that my other half will have to go alone (again) & he'll have to try & lie which he is crap at. Hope everything works out - your dad sounds great, it's good that you can tell him what's going on.

Yeah, can't imagine my dad attemptin to understand 'my condition' like yours. Boo Hoo.


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