Coming across as 'soft'
 

I hate the fact my anxiety makes me appear soft and spineless to some people. People say things like 'oh you're too nice' and words to the effect that I am 'soft' but inside I have opinions and I don't agree with everything people say etc. I find sometimes I feel anxious and I know if I was to get into a debate type situation I would have a full on anxiety attack so I tend to tread the edges trying not get myself too emotional etc.

SA is horrible because i don't think people get to know who you really are..

Re: Coming across as 'soft'
 

I'm in complete agreement W!llow.... :hug2:

I'm going to be brave now though and share a poem i wrote ten years ago as part of my A-level art project... *deep breath* (apologies in advance cos it's a bit rubbish, and i was 16 and had never been good at writing... hence i've only ever written two poems) :embarass:

Here lies ‘Cat', The quiet type
Who, without fuss or bother or hype,
Lived for a while on this Earth until
Without warning or forecast became very ill.

And so I write this, a short poem or verse,
While 'Cat' rides away in a shiny black hearse,
To explain if I may the extent of her life
And why she became neither mother nor wife.

To the things she enjoyed she devoted her time,
While the rest of her being enclosed in a mime.
She moved through the world saying barely a word.
Not content just to exist but wanting to be heard

To have views to put forward and opinions to cast
To be first in the queue and not stumbling in last
She needed to feel she didn’t have to say "yes"
When asked to do something that made her feel pressed

To be able to refuse when asked to conform
Or to bend to the will of her peers or 'the norm'.
So deep in her soul these emotions were kept
As alone in her room in the darkness she wept

Tears of confusion and dejection they were
Which rose from the lowest depths of her despair.
This is for those who ignored her true needs
To tell them she needed to at least be seen

Not just to be used when time would consent
To finish a sentence without the need to relent
But these illusions are gone now along with the dreamer
And in her final sleep now I hope you'll remember her.

Re: Coming accross as 'soft'
 

Thats excellent Cat! I can really relate to it totally too. Thanks for sharing that. :hug2:

Re: Coming across as 'soft'
 

Exactly! Cor blimey that sounds sooo like me. I can totally understand all you said there w!llow :hug2: I'm forever getting told i'm too soft, especially by the hubby.. even my parents think i'm too soft just cos i don't shout etc...i'm more of a mellow person i just am too patient for me own good i guess. Like if i'm in a busy shop and someone is in my way i tend to wait for them to move than say excuse me someone to move.

And sooo true nobody offline knows the real me, i'm trapped in me own silly head!

Take care :hug2:

Re: Coming accross as 'soft'
 

Willow, i can also relate to u. wen ppl tel me im 2 soft and i need 2 learn how 2 say "no", it makes me feel worse because i don't feel lyk im a good person and i feel iv tricked them in2 feeling sorry 4 me, can nebody relate to this? my self esteem is at an all tym low at the moment, i just want the courage to speak, its something everybody else around me has without even trying, y cant i b normal lyk them?