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Search took 0.01 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Selkie
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 17th May 2022, 19:42
Replies: 9
Views: 1,219
Posted By Selkie
Re: Is there any hope left??

Hi Bashful, I'm sorry you struggling so much.
I might be saying obvious things you already know, but I've found that regularly exercising and using relaxation techniques helps me. Of course they...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 15th August 2021, 17:13
Replies: 14
Views: 1,276
Posted By Selkie
Re: Mental health and being stigmatized? Have you faced it? Share your experience...

Yes I have. Although I can at times mask how I'm feeling and pretend to be happy and more comfortable than I am, at others/ if I have to do it for a long time when I'm really stressed I struggle to...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 5th July 2021, 19:34
Replies: 14
Views: 2,419
Posted By Selkie
Re: Experiences with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

I think CBT can be really helpful - I found this with an NHS course of CBT although it was too short. It's good to be able both to challenge negative thoughts and to begin to face situations you fear...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 1st April 2021, 17:59
Replies: 18
Views: 2,056
Posted By Selkie
Re: The dark side of SA

I have come across a few genuinely horrible manipulative people (thankfully not loads). And I'm pretty sure they didn't feel much remorse for it, or worry about being bad people.
There's also a...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 10th December 2020, 21:30
Replies: 6
Views: 2,176
Posted By Selkie
Re: Understanding social cues when you have SA

I know what you mean. I end up worrying about what exactly to do at times, or how to reply to emails etc.

But perhaps you don't need to worry too much about what you do with things like this....
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 13th November 2020, 16:39
Replies: 9
Views: 2,115
Posted By Selkie
Re: Treatments

Hi Ryan,

I'm sorry to hear you feel like that.
Have you had any CBT? This definitely helped me to an extent. But *gets soap box out* you need a good therapist! And one who specialises in social...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 2nd November 2020, 19:26
Replies: 4
Views: 1,622
Posted By Selkie
Re: How would you say you get out of the social trap of SA

Yes it is difficult.. I think another thing is you can try think about how much weight you really want to place on their opinion of you. Even if people are judging you for anxious 1) how signficant...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 20th October 2020, 10:15
Replies: 62
Views: 8,010
Posted By Selkie
Re: Things you just don't want to hear when you have social anxiety

^ Yes indeed. I've also had complaints that I look 'miserable'.

Also: 'no one minds if you are a bit quiet and shy'.
Um, really??

OK, some people don't mind but just ignore you. Some people...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 23rd September 2020, 19:31
Replies: 29
Views: 2,798
Posted By Selkie
Re: It's not always about 'you' (ramble)

Yes, it's true that social anxiety does lead to self-preoccupation and misery, and yeah, that's not something other people want to be around or deal with a lot of the time.

The criticism of being...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 13th September 2020, 19:22
Replies: 6
Views: 1,425
Posted By Selkie
Re: Experiences of CBT

I think that probably what makes CBT 'work,' in a very simple way, is when you can believe alternative thoughts, and when you feel like you get at least slightly positive results from behavioural...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 18th July 2020, 15:22
Replies: 13
Views: 2,186
Posted By Selkie
Re: Social anxiety and relationships

@gregarious Ah ok, so we are/were at opposite ends of a continuum then!
It's a good point about allowing potential partners to make their own minds up and not trying to pre-empt. I will try to do...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 17th July 2020, 12:15
Replies: 13
Views: 2,186
Posted By Selkie
Re: Social anxiety and relationships

Thanks again for the responses!

Thanks for your thoughtful reply gregarious_introvert. The reason I wonder if I'm trying to avoid relationships is because the people that I would like to go out...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 14th July 2020, 08:45
Replies: 13
Views: 2,186
Posted By Selkie
Re: Social anxiety and relationships

Hi Marco, thanks for the response.
I do worry too much how I come across when I'm with someone I like. But another problem is that it's become increasingly difficult to find people I like who are...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 12th July 2020, 15:09
Replies: 13
Views: 2,186
Posted By Selkie
Social anxiety and relationships

Hi everyone,

I was wondering how other people have found the experience of dating/relationships with social anxiety? Are you in a relationship, and if so was SA an issue at all when you met your...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 13th June 2020, 21:03
Replies: 4
Views: 1,220
Posted By Selkie
Re: Never know how to give advice, even to my own family

It sounds like you are so hard on yourself...
That critical voice you have is probably taking up a lot of the mental space you might have to give advice. It's hard to think of things when you are...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 21st May 2020, 14:37
Replies: 20
Views: 2,148
Posted By Selkie
Re: C. B. T ?

I think CBT definitely is helpful.
It can help with getting rid of more clearly irrational beliefs and behaviours. It helped me to take more risks by thinking of them as experiments, and sometimes...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 5th April 2020, 23:02
Replies: 9
Views: 2,187
Posted By Selkie
Re: Struggling to reply to messages and just so fed up in general

it's also true that being hard on yourself doesn't help in conversations (speaking from experience). When you're constantly monitoring what you say and giving yourself feedback .. it takes up a lot...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 26th February 2020, 13:59
Replies: 4
Views: 1,489
Posted By Selkie
Re: Helping someone with SA?

There are also some good self-help books on SA. Two of the ones I've found the most helpful have almost the same title:

Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness.. by Gillian Butler (CBT)
...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 15th December 2019, 20:23
Replies: 21
Views: 2,295
Posted By Selkie
Re: Major life achievement (PhD) - hardly any Facebook likes

I'm feeling a bit better about it now :).

Thing is, I was part of a cohort, and they all seem to get so many likes (quite a few had over 100 after their vivas) so it was hard not to compare...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 13th December 2019, 08:56
Replies: 21
Views: 2,295
Posted By Selkie
Re: Major life achievement (PhD) - hardly any Facebook likes

Thanks all for the nice replies! They have made me feel a bit better, and I will try to bear some of your points in mind.
It's true that most of the people on Facebook are not, and never were my...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 12th December 2019, 15:25
Replies: 21
Views: 2,295
Posted By Selkie
Major life achievement (PhD) - hardly any Facebook likes

Hi all,
I really thought my SA had got a lot better. I have some form of social life although it's a bit quieter than I would like, and I really thought that my work with CBT etc had paid off. But...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 6th December 2019, 18:16
Replies: 5
Views: 1,696
Posted By Selkie
Re: Practising Mindfulness to help SA

Ruby Wax has done a good book on mindfulness that includes a 6-week course with exercises:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Guide-Frazzled-Ruby-Wax/dp/024118648X
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 7th November 2019, 11:59
Replies: 19
Views: 1,481
Posted By Selkie
Re: I don't have depression...can anyone relate?

I've had both social anxiety and depression. They seem to be different feelings. I got depression from being bullied. My social anxiety grew because I was scared the bullying would happen again, but...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 12th October 2019, 19:53
Replies: 18
Views: 1,621
Posted By Selkie
Re: Hi - social anxiety ruining my life - looking for advice

Hi Mick,
Sorry to hear about your recent experiences. It can be really tough in the workplace and feeling like you can't escape from people.
This is something I'm trying to do at the moment -...
Forum: The Social Anxiety Room 15th September 2019, 22:31
Replies: 3
Views: 909
Posted By Selkie
Re: Depression and social anxiety

Hi Tom,
Please excuse the simplistic advice, which I know might be annoying, but maybe consider going to your doctor. They might be able to provide you with counselling which could help. Or meds if...
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