doing a good deed and ending up the worse for it; like that time a few months back when i helped a man lying on the road babbling away. Turned out he was just off his face on too much of something, but man did he stink, i had to go home again instead of shopping, as i'd planned, as my clothes were reeking of faeces.
Everyone was just standing in a wide circle watching him twitching on the floor screaming in abject horror at things that weren't there. I had already passed the scene by and turned the corner, but my conscience pulled me back around on account of no one doing anything.
Do a good deed and come home stinking of junkie shit, a germaphobe's worst nightmare.
today, coming out of t' chip shop i saw a raggedy-ass cat eating cold wet chips from a puddle in the lashing rain. As i got near it went and hid underneath a car. I hate the way people neglect their cats around here; i felt sorry for him so i went to the shop and bought him some cat food. I used the paper off my chips to put the food on (always thinking, see), but by the time i'd gotten back to where the cat had been hiding it was nowhere to be seen; the torrential rain had destroyed my makeshift paper plate and the wet paper had intermingled with the cat food and the rain water meaning that i was left walking up the high street with my hands held in front of me like a bowl - a bowl full of cat food, wet paper and rain water. Good thing no one was about to see that! Nor to see me as I discretely slopped the lot onto someone's wall near where the cat had last been (hopefully the cat saw it there, at least)
