I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, as I am still uncertain how I feel about it. I had planned a while back to go to visit my grandad with my brother, his wife and their daughter . I never visit him on my own (due to my SA), but tag along with my brothers and their families. As the day (yesterday - Sunday) got nearer, I got more and more worried about it, and avoided phoning my brother to make arrangements. I half-hoped he had forgotton I had said I would go!
Saturday came and I still hadn't phoned my brother. I decided I wasn't going to go, and if my brother phoned me I would claim illness! This decision, however, brought a big wave of depression on and I spent most of Saturday in bed!
Sunday morning I went out with the dogs and when I got back there was a message from my brother saying he would meet me at Grandad's at 2pm. I felt like I had to go! So I rang him back and confirmed.
Got the atlas out, checked the route (quite easy, but I am well-known for getting lost!) and went!
It was not half as bad as I feared, I managed to chat to my grandad a bit. There were silences, but I managed not to blame them all on myself!
I'm glad I went and didn't take the easy way out, which would have left me feeling 10x worse. but I'm annoyed at myself for wasting Saturday in bed!!
Maybe now I've found this site, when something scarey comes up I can talk to you lot first on this site and psyche myself up!