Lots of things.
The ones that really destroy me come from myself and my acceptance that they are the whole truth. Being so willing to just take it without question...kind of keeps it going, like the very word and all it stands for has a life of its own and is breathing down my neck...
You have to picture it, stuck to you like a big evil limpet! dark and shapeshifting and maybe oozing some dark poisonous matter that stinks and burns and suffocates, all the while professing protection as if it's there to ward off 'something bad' and 'keep you safe'.
' This is us, you and me, we are....too quiet, that weirdo, that psycho, that slut, embarrassing, too shy, weird looking, stupid stupid stupid.....,so we need to keep away, because that's what they'll see and that's what they'll say...'
Sometimes I creep myself out
Really though. I want to change my view. Question until it sinks in.
too quiet...why? for whom? is anxiety taking up all your focus at these times? do you understand why you're anxious in view of how you perceive the world around you? And just get to know what the pit i've been living in consists of, how it was made, all the twisted thorny traps.
There is no substitute for loving yourself. For real, I think i've tried every substitute going
