I'm curious to learn how other 30+ SAers live, so please answer any of the following questions you feel comfortable with. And go into as much detail as you like i.e what sort of flat do you live in? Council? Is it small/ grotty or quite nice? If you have kids do you see much of them etc? Here is me...
Age: 37
Town/ City: Colchester in Essex.
How far do you live from where you were born/ grew up? I live 2 miles from where I was born and grew up.
House/ Flat?: Small semi-detached house in a quiet country lane in a village on the outskirts of Colchester. The house was a rural labourer's cottage in the 19th century and even today looks out over fields. I live in the end house so only have one set of neighbours- an odious, loud American woman and her son, who has aspergers and is vile. We politely hate each other and I avoid going into the garden when they are in theirs. The road is quiet and most of the neighbours think I'm odd as I don't work, never speak to anyone and generally avoid them
Job: Don't work due to SA
Romantic/ Sex Life: No regular partner. Thanks to SA/ no job/ living with mother etc I avoid any close relationships and stick to casual flings (which usually means hurting the woman
after a few weeks). I have never had a serious relationship- nothing longer than 9 months. And I have never lived with a woman. Sexual partners= about 15 in total. Thanks to depression/anxiety and the after effects of anti-depressants my sex drive is mega low and I often have trouble 'performing'. All in all, most of my sexual encounters are frustrating, disappointing and boring. I have never been close to being in love, which is probably due to low sex drive and general feelings of numbness and detachment from the world.
Kids: None. The idea of having children freaks me out. What advice could I give them? I've barely lived. Plus I'd feel guilty for bringing them into this shitty world. I have no nieces or nephews.
Friends: One friend I've known since school. We get on OK, but the relationship is odd and strained due to my SA.
Siblings: A younger sister. We are fairly close but quite different people- she lives about 2 miles away and is married with no kids.
Parents: My father died 5 years ago. My mother is still alive. I was/ am close to both of them, but again the relationship was strained thanks to SA.
How do you see the future? Scary. When my mother goes I'm ****ed. Maybe I'll try for a serious, committed relationship, but I'm so used to doing my own thing I don't know if I'd cope. Without kids or a career or even any nieces and nephews the future looks lonely, poor and bleak.
What keeps you sane/ keeps you going? Books/ art. Also curiosity about the future. Maybe, just maybe, thanks to unimaginable technology, life in 40 years time will be considerably more enjoyable