[Tom1985]

For me I just don't know what to do with my free time. I think to myself, should I read
the newspapers, read self help books, etc. What I want ultimately in life is just to feel
comfortable socialising and have friends I feel comfortable with. I'm 34 years old now and
at a point where I've lost contact with friends I've had over the years. Part of me wants to be alone cause I often feel miserable but at the same time I want company. Also when I'm alone I just feel as though I waste time pondering, ruminating and don't do constructive things. I can watch a film or read a book or practice guitar etc when I'm alone but in my head I'm thinking "How is any of this gonna help you to enhance your social skills"
I just don't know. Not knowing how to spend my free time alone is a big problem.
Isolate myself, then don't feel happy. Whatever I do I think to myself I should be doing something else.