Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Wolfy15
It is hard to say if anyone's life would turn out better if they hadn't had SA, but then again it does take away our control, and when that happens it harder to carve out the life you would want for yourself, a lot harder
Especially if there's added problems which without a doubt most of us have had
|
You are quite right about the lack of control. I remember looking at a boy in my street and thinking "it's alright for you - you will leave home, go away to university and live a normal life. I'm ****ed." I was young at the time, yet even then I just knew, without being able to put it into words, that something was wrong. SA robs you. It leaves you on the margins, watching other people go through the normal highs and lows while you make the best of things. It makes life so hard because pretty much everything, from sex and love to career and travel, involves other people. If dealing with them is an issue for you, then
life is an issue.
Would I have been happy without SA (and a wider personality disorder)? I would almost certainly have had more happiness, and would probably have lived a more fulfilling life. But there are no guarantees. No doubt my adolescence and twenties would have been better. My 30s and 40s, however, could have been worse: I might have had children with the wrong person and become trapped in a miserable, loveless marriage. Or my child might have been born severely disabled, or died in an accident, etc. I might be caught in a career I hate to pay the mortgage on a three bed house for children I didn't want, or come home to find my wife had left me, and so on.