[Introspheric87]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

^I wish I knew what to say, but try not to blame yourself for the way people treat you.

I have epically ****ed up my life, so I'm feeling shit.

Originally Posted by skittles88

Introspheric87, I can relate to everything you are saying, I have always been bullied in jobs due to being too shy and awkward too and I lack intelligence. I never last long in jobs (longest was a year) I really hope you get back to your cbt therapy and you can get help from that. I know how it is to not fit in with life.

Originally Posted by Nanuq

^^ Hope you're ok, Choirgirl

^^^ This post makes me feel so sad. You're not to blame for how you're treated, Introspheric87.
A lot of work environments have a bullying culture, some more obviously than others, but I think it is inherent in the way our work and society is structured and I think it starts with high school.

I genuinely believe that if children stayed in the same schools from 5 to 16, with proper support and familiar staff, then people wouldn't grow into assholes. It's the 'sink or swim' nature of chucking a 1,000 plus kids all in the same place, where adults don't know one from the other that perpetuates these social dynamics.

I don't think you 'should' be any other person than the one you are, but you should be in a place where people treat you with respect and kindness. I have been bullied terribly over the years, lots of times I felt desperate from it. In my last job everyone was really nice to me, even though I was exactly the same Finding a nice work environment isn't easy, but they are there. What kind of job do you do? Maybe a different kind of job would put you with people who were nicer.

Originally Posted by choirgirl

^That's good advice. Finding niceish colleagues and a reasonableish boss does make a huge difference. Makes the whole work thing a lot more bearable. Of course you often have no way of knowing ahead of time. I do think so much unhappiness can be caused by people being arseholes at work, because you can't escape until you find a new job.

Yeah, I'm all right. In a way, instead of plodding on, waiting to magically morph into a superwoman or for the world to get more sane (which is clearly not going to happen) before anything can improve, I've got something to actually do, i.e. work on the deep recesses of my soul lol. While also earning money. And then see if I can get ADHD diagnosis and if I can get medical aid that can turn me into a more functional and focused human.

Thank you all for the kind words, Choir girl, Skittles88 and Nanuq.
I work in human resources supporting healthcare recruitment. I think my problem comes down to anxiety and trying too hard to fit in. No one wants to talk to a fake and after nearly a year into my current role I feel isolated and undervalued. Being able to work from home helps but when I have to be in the office that's when my anxiety flares up. I could be feeling fine and thinking positive thoughts but my body language shows my tenseness and hidden anxiety and people reject me. This is why I blame myself for the situation I am in. People start talking to me then rush off in the middle of the conversation or start smirking when I try to say something in a meeting or add an opinion. You read things in self-help books about communication being 90% body language and that people mirror other speakers. I notice people mimicking me when I talk or being jumpy around me more often. Therefore I feel like it must be my fault because of my anxiety.