Hi,

I am the mother of a lively toddler. I have split up with my childs father and feel very unhappy and isolated. I still love my ex but because of too many obstacles and problems it's impossible for us to be a proper family. I have bad SA and have only two good friends that I see for just a few hours each week. They don't have children. Besides that, I have only one relative who I see and who occassionally helps out. My ex who lives a long way away visits our child once a week but it's torture being like a family for just those few hours. But to not have those few hours would be worse. I constantly think of suicide but know that it would be selfish and cruel to leave my child with no mother. Some days when things are really bad I wonder if my child would be better off without me though? I do so want to always be there for my little one though and know that thought will stop me from ever doing something silly. I know, for my childs sake, that I need to get out of this isolation but it's so hard. I'm scared to go to a mother and toddler group. I worry that other people will pity my child for having a mother like me and won't want their children mixing with mine because the mother is "a weirdo". When other mothers chat about their partners, their many friends and their nice homes I would have nothing to say in return. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy many moments with my precious wonderful child but, the overall picture looks bleak and dismal for us both. I could go on, but I'll spare you that.

I just want to stop feeling this unhappy.

Thanks for letting me write here. It helps to share my feelings with other parents who suffer with SA.