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Originally Posted by Progress
This could apply to the girl and Alpha male you talk about too. Maybe she is the type that is attracted to Alpha males, and more suited to Alpha males. If we spend our energy trying to become more like him then we are probably wasting our time. There are plenty of women who are attracted to non Alpha types and they are going to be more suited to us. So what we doing is trying to be something that we really are not. But what we should do is acknowledge and accept ourselves as we really are and then we will be attracted to the right match for us.
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I dont really like the Alpha term when it comes to dating. Yes there are men who are more Alpha than others in general but when it gets used on here i dont think the women went with the guy purely cos he was Alpha at all, theres more to it than just that. As people have described on this thread what attracts them to someone varies alot.
In the example i used she wasn't maybe attracted to Alpha types but i think its more about being attracted to certain personality types or that he made more effort in talking to her etc hence alot of guys assume the guy who got the girl was a alpha male thus further reinforces their own insecurities about their masculinity maybe.
As joinmartin said people adjust what they see to fit in with the beliefs they already have so they see a guy get lucky and assume he's alpha, super confident etc cos thats the opposite view they have of themselves so therefore believe women want the opposite of them cos they 'seen' it already but really what they saw was distorted.