[Beep]

When I first discovered this site I was single and ridiculously shy and a little pathetic – but I was somewhat positive and kept myself occupied with various hobbies.

Since then I was in a relationship for two years with an alcoholic who forced me to watch her try and kill herself day after day, often forgetting who I was whilst I cleaned up after her. Then I entered a new relationship with someone that made me give up all my hobbies and friends, she was very abusive towards me (and don’t judge men bullied by their partners unless you’ve been there). She kicked me out when I lost my job whilst she then declared her love to other men.

I was finally free of her and started to see other people but then she discovered she was pregnant with my child and thus dragged me back to her, and she contacted everyone I was talking to and convinced them that I was cheating on her with them. She was carrying my child so I stayed with her anyway.

The abuse continued, I looked forward to working just to get away from her, but then I started getting bullied at work by my supervisor, so the only escape I had in life was travelling back and forth to work and home. I wasn’t allowed to drink so I couldn’t even use that as an escapism like I used to. I was dead inside, I know people say that a lot these days but I really had just given up, the only thing I had in my life was my daughter, other than that I just worked, cleaned, worked, cleaned.

I let myself get into this situation because all my life I have done. I’ve always let people walk over me, make me feel stupid, and ugly, that I actually believed I was lucky to have these girlfriends because at least on the outside, I looked normal.

I am pleased to say this is all behind me now. I’m no longer with the girls mentioned above. I met someone, she rescued me, and I’ve never been happier in my life. She is my love and my best friend, and I have my hobbies back now.

I guess the positive in all of my previous relationships is that I’m confident now, it made my mind stronger, I don’t feel ugly and stupid anymore, and I genuinely don’t feel the need for people to tell me so. I recently found myself standing up to people that have tried to bully me, I’m not shy or afraid to make a scene in order to stand up for myself.

I’d say that my social anxiety is mostly gone, I still have my moments, but I never run away from anything now, physically and emotionally. Also I still get to see my daughter quite often.

I just wanted to say that I recently heard a quote that made me smile, and its simplicity just adds to its charm.
I wanted to share it.

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end”