[Change]

^ It sounds like you have an opinion of yourself that is more than just genuinely thinking as fact that you are "ugly".

Even if someone truly believed this and could prove it was true, it's still possible for them to have a healthy view of themselves and not be ashamed of their looks. Considering the things you say you avoid, it does suggest that's not healthy and it could be some type of disorder. Whether that's BDD or an extension of SA due to low confidence/self esteem I can't say.

I think you're right that someone can generally have the opinion that they are objectively ugly so that doesn't mean they have BDD.

Although, please remember that even if someone is objectively unattractive, attraction is much more complicated than that. People will still have very attractive qualities, physical ones, to some people. Your husband can both love your personality and also genuinely find you physically attractive, even if most of the world doesn't. Characteristics and facial expressions, the way you move, can be very attractive even if a lot of people wouldn't describe someone as "pretty" or "handsome".

Having said that, I think the things you say you avoid are much more common than you might think and they are things I've heard several times before. From people of all shapes and sizes. And plenty of people genuinely believe they are unattractive or ugly.

In all cases none of them were. You're probably one of them so try not to be too hard on yourself. And please go swimming!