[TTSP]

I've been dreading graduation day since the day I completed my UCAS application. The graduation ceremony for my university is in November and I've put off booking tickets and ordering a gown for ages but the deadline is only a week a way now. I've been toying with the idea of not going to my graduation but I have a feeling I'd regret it if I did.

Today I received an e-mail from my university that I've won an award for my work and that there will also be a ceremony for that too. I had a mini panic attack just reading the email so I'm not sure how well I'll do accepting the award in front of a crowd. This award hasn't helped me make my decision but rather intensify the confliction I feel between the regret of not going or the social anxiety of both ceremonies.

Deep down I think I know that going is the right thing to do, if I was reading someone else's post about the same issue I would definitely encourage them to go. But it's me and the mere thought of the ceremonies is nauseating.