[Tembo]

Originally Posted by gregarious_introvert

I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling at the moment, Aleks; it's always difficult coming home from travelling, it's like trying to get back to reality while everything still feels unreal!

I know that you were stressing about your teacher training course and whether you should continue with that, or return to your part-time position as a teaching assistant; have you resolved that? If not, it won't be helping your mood at the moment.

You say that you haven't got anywhere with trying to improve your life, but you did say that you enjoyed the job you were doing - and you've started travelling, been going to meetups, exercising, pursuing your hobbies; it seems that you have achieved a great deal, even if you can't appreciate all you've done when seen through the fog of depression. It may seem that all hope is gone but that is just the depression telling you that and there will come a time when you see things differently; in fact, it isn't that long since you were making such positive posts here and I (and everyone else here) look forward to seeing those positive posts again and hearing about your remarkable progress.

Thank you for your kind reply, as always.

No I certainly haven't resolved my situation with the teacher training - i'm very much 'head in the sand' at the moment with that unfortunately. I agree, the worry about that probably isn't helping.

I am enjoying the job I'm in (although the last couple of months have been quite difficult), but i'm not sure how long they will employ me for, as they are expecting me to train to be a teacher and eventually work in another school.
I am still going to meetups, exercising and pursuing hobbies - but not as much as before. I seem to have mostly hibernated over the winter, and the stress of the teaching training situation hasn't helped.

I agree with you - the fog of depression is making me forget of the things I have achieved. Its great that i'm still going to meetups, and travelling in Europe on my own. That is a great achievement, especially as many confident people would not travel on their own. While I do think it is good, I also think i'm just constantly escaping from reality by keep booking holidays, and thinking about anything else rather than work/career.

Another issue is that i'm not getting along with other people very well at the moment, including friends and family. I just feel like i'm on a different planet to everyone. I struggle to express myself and have conversations. I'm just not 'clicking' with people or forming friendships. I'm finding a lot of people to be judgemental and intolerant. It seems difficult to meet kind decent people. I do sometimes wonder if i'm on 'the spectrum' or not. I do have a few of the characteristics, but i'm probably only mildly on the spectrum if at all. Perhaps it is the depression making me feel this way, but I've always felt like this.

Originally Posted by Change87

Hi Aleks, where did you go on holiday? What were a couple of your most enjoyable events on your holiday?

Hi! I went to Cologne in Germany. Great city! A bit dirty when compared to Berlin or Munich, but still lots of great things to do, and its really close to other cities like Dusseldorf or Bonn. Probably the best things were the chocolate factory, and the zoo in Cologne. This is very geeky, but I also went to the Wuppertal "Schwebebahn" (Suspension Railway), which is like a monorail but with the tracks above the train! I really enjoyed that.