Thanks Luke
I am glad I can be of some help.
Tim, Hurray! I did end up going! However, due to my other group, I ended up getting there late when most of the people there had disappeared. Haha, there were 40 people there originally. When I got there it had dwindled to 10. It was nothing like my scenorio, in fact I just strolled in, and started talking to a few people. It really was that easy. I am going on their next meet-up this weekend.
The awareness on speaking strategy is working like a treat. I speak so clearly and audibly now, most of my awareness goes into what I am saying, rather than "How I am saying it" In my earlier group today it was working like a treat. The general rule seems to be the louder you speak the more you command the respect of people. Of course one needs discretion too.
I think if I can do this, then anybody can do this. I am not particularly the best looking, the most intelligent, the most skillful or talented person. I am pretty much your average joe.
I can see what you mean about the avoidance becoming automatic. I will invite you however to use the word "seem" It seems automatic, because the gap between thought and feeling or stimulus and response is so narrow, that you cannot catch the first trigger before the anxiety and the avoidence starts. Your window of awareness is simply too small. But there is a window of awareness there because you are a conscious being. So the solution here is expand that window of awareness so you are able to notice the gap between thought and feeling.
The 3-part system will expand your awareness. It does this in three ways: It affirms the belief that you are "awareness" through affirmations. These affirmations themselves will lead to you becoming more aware throughout the day. The second way is through regular daily meditation you will train your awareness to expand. And thirdly by practicing mindfulness throughout the day you will be able to increase the amount of times you are in awareness. Eventually, you will become so use to being in awareness, your thought activity will lessen significantly. You will begin to behave more spontaneously and creatively, you will have more energy and as a result you will be more happy and confident.
It does take time, however, as I said in the OP. This system needs regular and sustained practice. The chances are it has taken years and years for you to develop the anxiety and avoidence. So it cannot be expected to go away in just a few weeks of practice. The good news is, it will not even take half as long as it took to form the anxiety and avoidence habits. You should begin to see significant results in a year. Good luck!