I worry a ridiculous amount too,
the worst time is when I wake up, and I basically know that,. yip,. it's not a bad dream, this shizz is actually happening
I'm terrible at making decisions and confronting issues,. so stuff inevitably piles up and feels insurmountable,
. I seem to get very emotional over any issues,.
as long as my life is moving in a smooth predictable way, I seem relatively unruffled,..
but it doesn't take much to get my feelings churning,
and then that reveals the fact that my 'calmness' was just a surface phenomenon that I was protecting,
protected by having a boring predictable lifestyle that I could easily manage.
with things like Autistic spectrum behaviours,
I think any deviation from a calm, predictable norm can make things feel like they're land-sliding out of control,. and I just feel awful,. shaky, upset, angry, chaotic.