When I was a child I always imagined I'd have children, never a partner just somehow having 3 children
When I got to my teen years I came to realise that I didn't want them and that I don't actually like children all that much.
My nieces were born when I was 15 and, me being the youngest child, they were my first proper interaction with babies. I didn't bond with them in the way that I expected to, I didn't feel love for them, even now with them at 16 I don't love them the way that I love my sisters. I worried and still do that I wouldn't feel a bond with my own child. Also being around them all the time I started to notice how irritating children are. The endless chatter and screaming and noise.
I saw how my sisters became less than they were, tired and angry all the time and their lives completely taken over. Perhaps it's selfish but I've never been ready to give up my life for another person.
So I realised that having children wasn't for me.
There's some other contributing factors like; I don't feel financially stable enough and doubt I ever will be in my low paying job, I would worry about bringing a child into such a shitty world, potentially passing down bad genes (heart problems), being raised by a mother like me with anxiety and bpd.
People say that I'll want them one day but it hasn't happened so far.