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Originally Posted by Vasco Da Gama
...Buddhist monks and suchlike are not using this expecting results,. like the scientific study seems to expect/want ,.
to expect results etc. is to go completely wrong at the first step.
the idea is that you observe yourself, in everyday situations, but you observe yourself with dispassion, with equanimity, in a completely objective way,
you don't jump in and try to change anything and you don't judge anything, it's all about objective impartial observation, - with no idea of an objective, a goal or a result...
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Very good post, Vasco. The part I've quoted above hits the nail on the head for me. I use Mindfulness in a very simplistic way which simply helps keep me grounded in the present rather than wracked with anxiety over the future and guilt, embarrassment and whatever else over the past. This stops me from getting overwhelmed and it sees me living in my life rather than inside my head where I used to live.
It's not about making us feel better. It's not about cutting out life's pain. It's more about living in the present moment, which gives us room to address what can be addressed whilst also helping make room for the pain of what cannot be addressed. For instance, being open to what is and being willing to go through its process very much helped me cope with two bereavements within the space of two weeks recently. Mindfulness didn't take away any of the pain, but it certainly helped me work through my own process and it is still doing so.
Using Mindfulness as a way of taking away the pain of life's traumas and problems trips us up right from the start. It goes against what it's all about. It needs to be used to make room for life's traumas and pain rather than as a futile technique to bypass them.
Being mindful, I'm aware of all my moods. All my ups and all my downs. I'm open to all of those things, so deal with them openly on a day-by-day, moment-by-moment basis. I'm not being mindful in order to make myself feel better. I'm being mindful in order to live better and cope better with whatever comes my way. Anyone using Mindfulness in order to feel better is basically just using it as another avoidance strategy, and when they realise that it's not a magic wand that makes life suddenly feel better they reject it saying ''it doesn't work.''
Any 'positive feelings' that come from using Mindfulness should just be seen as pleasant by-products rather than the object of the exercise. They may come, they may not come. Enjoy them if they do; don't fret over it if they don't. What
really makes long lasting positive difference to our lives are the things we
do with our lives such as living in accordance with our values and working towards the things in life that matter to us personally.
I've used Mindfulness (alongside ACT) for a few years now, and I can say they have both made a massive difference to my life. Has my life been any less painful? Of course not. In fact, I've gone through, and continue to go through, some of the toughest times I've ever had. The difference being now that I live in my life rather than inside my head, and this helps me make room for what I cannot change and it helps me have a bit more clarity when it comes to identifying what I can change. I can then get on with addressing that stuff I can influence. Mindfulness has certainly taught me how futile it is to fight against what cannot be fought. It massively helped me defeat lifelong SA too. I realised long ago that fighting anxiety merely fuels it. The fight against it is the petrol it needs to keep burning. Mindfulness was invaluable in helping me to drop the fight, thus neutralising the disordered levels of anxiety, whilst helping me make room for the more normal anxieties that do still naturally show up.
As you can probably tell by reading between the lines here, I
did initially use Mindfulness as an avoidance strategy. A technique through which I was hoping for a certain, specific result. But used that way, it will always disappoint, simply because life naturally includes downs, pain, upset, setback, death, fear etc.... Nothing can spare us from those things. Mindfulness (non-judgemental awareness)
can help us make room for those things, though, and making room for them can help us process them better and move on quicker. Our process is less likely to become blocked.
I don't see Mindfulness as something a person needs to believe in. It's not a belief. It's simply non-judgemental awareness. Living in the present moment rather than agonising over the past and fretting over the future. I have no 'belief' in Mindfulness at all. All kinds of utter bollocks come into my head at random times too. As do worries and fears. It's just that non-judgemental awareness of these things mean you simply acknowledge them, then let them go. No trying to fight/reject them because they are 'negative'. No desperation to cling on to them because they are 'positive'.
EDIT:
Just reading the article in the OP I read this...
''As I recently dicussed on SBM, mindfulness meditation is the practice of sitting quietly, focusing inward and on the present, and avoiding mind wandering or daydreaming.''
I found this an example of how Mindfulness is often misunderstood.
Mindfulness is absolutely NOT about avoiding anything, let alone mind-wandering or daydreaming. The more you try to avoid something, the more you have it. Try NOT thinking about a pink elephant. What's the first image that comes to mind? Yes, a pink elephant. Mindfulness is more about making room for what comes in, but not holding on to it. It's about letting it go, not trying to avoid it. It's about making room for, rather than avoiding. If your mind wanders, you can simply re-focus on the present, but it's not about trying to avoid thoughts, it's about non-judgemental awareness of them. I don't see it as ''focusing inward'' either. It's more about being open and aware of things (sounds, sensations, smells, thoughts, feelings etc...) rather than narrowing your focus inwards.
Another thing. You can be mindful doing absolutely anything. You don't have to meditate in order to be mindful. Of course, you
can do it sitting quietly if you want, but you can do it anywhere. The last time I actually sat mindfully was maybe last summer or even the one before in the garden listening to the water in the pond and the birds singing. That can be lovely and relaxing, but I don't find it necessary at all when it comes to living mindfully.