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Old 12th August 2018, 00:29
hollowone hollowone is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Default Re: Who else is sick of being told 'you are quiet'

The reason a remark such as 'you're quiet' might get to you is because on some level you believe it=bad, they think badly. As has been mentioned above it's most certain the person commenting is making an observation.
*Most of the time when people comment you're quiet/don't say much/seem nervous etc, they're don't mean anything bad by it, they're curious why
*If people have never had trouble with social situations themselves, they may assume that what's true for them is true for you; again it's not your problem
*It's a bit of a social mistake in itself to comment on someone's social performance, after all you don't do that
@ vasco de gama
Quote:
when a group is around a table and the conversation drifts away into silence, people can often feel very uncomfortable,. why is that? why do people fear silence?
silence can expose people, and that's what they fear,. words, talk, help to paper over those cracks, and keep them occupied,. whereas silence exposes you as you are.
What you might be on about is a different situation, that of white lies you've told someone previously coming through which is a different topic from what the OP is bringing up.
@Autumn Jesster
Quote:
Plus it's mysterious, and sometimes better if your work colleagues don't know everything about you. Which is why I think people constantly reinforce how quiet you are. They want to know exactly who you are so they can respond.
Quietness can be a good thing for avoiding gossip in gossipy workplaces.

BOTTOM LINE
'You're quiet' does not mean; 'I think you're anti social and will never make any friends and will never find a lover'.

It's likely there's some unhelpful beliefs that have been picked up;
-quiet=people think boring, don't want to talk to you; not always the case, they maybe curious
-someone says you're quiet=they're criticizing you, don't like you STOP!; in reality they're curious, as mentioned they maybe used to those social settings you're not and might not understand why you're quiet
-quiet=those people who've given you a hard time must be 'right'; anyone who's genuinely nasty about this is a douchebag, is in the wrong & has overstepped the line of acceptable behaviour
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