[-Simon-]

A friend of my cousin's is a traffic cop in South Africa. Apparently he was on patrol one day on the highway outside of Jo'bourg when he came across a nasty accident in which a guy transporting human organs by motorbike crashed into a monkey that was on the road eating a banana. It was a right mess and there were bits of monkey all over the place plus the box on the back of the bike had broken open spilling its contents, a human brain, onto the road. Anyway, the cop checked the guy's vital signs and found he was dead so he phoned up the nearest hospital and asked if they were expecting a brain to be delivered. They said it would be no use now because it would start to go off once the air had got to it but that he might as well try popping it into the dead guy to see if that brought him round. Obviously the cop was a bit nervous about this as he'd never done anything like that before but they said not to worry as they'd talk him through the procedure over the phone, tell him what bits to connect up and that. Anyway, he was just finished popping the new brain in when the ambulance and police arrived, the medics checked the biker guy and said the operation had been successful and he'd be fine now. The cops in the car told our man that he might as well take the rest of the day off and they would tidy up, seeing as he'd done such a good job, so off he went. It was only when the other cops were scooping up all the bits off the road that they realised there were two human brains left and no sign of the monkey's brain but they kept quiet about in case the biker guy sued.