[boots38]

Trigger post

I just started another job ( I have two now) and feel like I don't have time to take a breath. I can't do the 2nd job ( the one I just took on) and talk to people as that would take up more time. I just started and wanting to say it is not for me. I feel distressed actually verbalising I can't do this as I am working. Also people go for a coffee in the canteen before work and I am too introverted - I tried it and it made me unbelievably fed up. Yesterday in my morning job just crying and crying and crying ( nobody is there so it's okay), and in my head saying take an overdose, take an overdose. The only way I could calm down was to tell myself just tell them it is not for you. I am living with my mum but I am so introverted it's hard. I need to just hold this job down so I can get into a bedsit. My family are like you should go for a better bedsit than the ones I already went for; more expensive. But I have to go for something cheap; I cannot survive otherwise. I kinda listened to them and took on board what they said. But yesterday was like yeah this is why I go for crappy places because there's nothing else I can do.

Just took another 5mg of my meds so I don't feel what I feel.

I am an introvert with other things and I just feel like the world wasn't mean for me.