[Utopia]

Hi Dimples, you can always try another antidepressant - for me Fluoxetine wasn't great for the physical anxiety symptoms, but the one I'm on now (Duloxetine) has helped with the only side effects being a sensation of having just eaten, and feeling like I've had a small amount of alcohol, as well as some sexual side effects which are likely different in females anyway. Do you remember if you felt better on them? For me they helped obsessive thoughts and catastrophising things - they have likely stopped me committing suicide tbh. If they help then you may as well take them as you would any other medication.

With regards to losing a loved one... tbh I know it's difficult but death is something we all have to deal with really - we all lose loved ones at some point. I'm not saying it's easy, but you are not alone there.

For me the intensity of emotions just die down over time and things I felt like committing suicide over years ago honestly barely effect me anymore.

For you I guess it's more about mindset, if medication doesn't help. Just trying to think what else I could suggest, I mean I'm not you, with your problems and personality etc. but I do empathise, and I think well if I don't give up then it's not fair that others who feel too far gone were to give up also. Don't give up.