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Originally Posted by jinny
Mine is that bad too.
Lots of similar experiences.. Especially in my 20s
I couldn't cope at uni. I went to Stoke for one term (lol, I am obviously not on the same academic level as Moksha there) doing History of Art, withdrew as I could not attend tutorials and spent all my time in bed drinking cup-a-soup. Went to Bangor Uni for 2 and a half years, studying English Literature, but had the same problems..
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Anglia Ruskin is a crappy polytechnic. It has no connection with the real Cambridge university! When I went you still got a big grant, so it was full of idiots looking for an excuse to laze around and drink for three years instead of getting a job. If I hadn't been a dysfunctional mess I'd have happily joined them
I only lasted a couple of weeks though. And yet to this day my GP thinks I went to
the Cambridge! He is extra nice, so I never bother to correct him
Essex University is ok. Considering what a mediocre student I was, that was about the best I could expect to get into. I was just lucky it happened to be 8 miles from my house!
One thing I'd add is that some people really struggle with specific things. I can use public transport, drive to the other side of the country on my own, or even travel abroad. And I'd be OK going into cafes, etc. I might even force myself into a bar on my own (so long as I was drunk). Yet other things are still agony. I hate ordering food at a bar, for example. I'm at my worst when forced to expose myself/open up/be intimate in some way (being the new boy in an office or shop). Intimacy, humiliation and shame...those are the real triggers for me. So long as I'm distant and detached from people, my SA is bearable. This is why I've never been able to have a serious relationship: I couldn't bear having to meet her family and friends. I once went out with a girl for a whole year but never went into her family home or met her siblings ***8211; just her mum and three of her friends (individually). Weirdly, I have no problem with internet dating. I was working it out the other day, and I've been on 40 internet dates. One to one I'm fine.