[Fluorescent Grey]

At a kids birthday party with a disco (my niece's. I don't just turn up at children's parties drunk and set fire to the dance floor. Not anymore.) and the only song I recognised was Gangnam Style. I found myself wondering whether this was the same song they'd been playing for the last half-hour because it sounds exactly the same. Music these days all sounds the same to me, not like in the good old days. Is this that Mrs Gaga who seems so popular with the kids these days? I think I heard one of her songs on the wireless once. Something about card games. Snap Face? Bridge Face? Ahhhhh! You old bastard!

But I guess pop music has always been derivative crap. In my day, during one of the wars, there was The Black Eyed Peas who I hated with a passion. I still listen to new music but none of that pop shit. Who's number one right now? Don't know, don't care. Should I hate Ed Sheeran? Don't know. Couldn't name one of his songs. I've always hated derivative pop shite but I used to know who I was hating. Who's this arsehole singing about sexy, sexy bodies to a bunch of 6 year olds? Who am I supposed to hate for this sonic diarrhea? I miss the good old days of hating Will I Am (Dick You Are). Pop music these days doesn't make me want to stab myself in the ear, it's just a dull noise.