[Merritt]

Please don't be afraid to post about what you're feeling, Clementine. I'm not 100% on the site's rules, but if you're in a crisis and you're reaching out for help, then I'm sure no one will hold it against you, regardless of what it is you're thinking about doing. We all care and want the best for you.

I'll leave the advice for those who know what they're talking about, but is there anyone you can contact to tell what's going on, a support worker, crisis number you've been given, anything? I was in a similar place a few months ago, I genuinely felt like I was at the end of my tether and losing my mind, and calling local places I'd been given the number for by my GP helped relieve some of the pressure, even if only for a while.

You're important and what you're going through is important. Any way you choose to reach out for help is reasonable and no one will criticise you for it. Feel free to PM me, or anyone else here you feel comfortable with, if it'll help, even if only a little.