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Originally Posted by Kipling
And I wonder how many of those hundreds of birthday messages are actually sent with genuine love and sincerity. I'd guess that they often get sent out of routine or just because a lot of people feel obliged to send a birthday message for one reason or another.
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I understand that, but my question is that where are all of mine? Even if they weren't sincere? It at least gives them a confidence boost whereas someone who's confidence is rock bottom is expected to produce it out of thin air.
There's a reason why I lack them now (didn't at the time) because I have a different account and a very select number of people on there. So it's now impossible for me to get as many - but even those on my new account (barring one exception) choose to ignore the event...
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Originally Posted by Kipling
I learnt to do all my own arranging, or at least prompt family members or a friend when I actually wanted to do something for a birthday. For years I never wanted to do anything on any birthday and told people exactly that, then I got to the point where I decided I did want to do something unique to me and I made it happen. Luckily my sort of unique and mundane ways means it never has to involve many people or much money! I've coincidentally been on holiday with family on some recent birthdays so those birthdays have been easy enough to make a little bit different.
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I tried to arrange my own 18th, but the three or four people who I'd invited to go out for a drink with. However, one by one, they pulled out within a week of the event. In the end, my brother had to come out of work early to take me for my first legal pint - so I could at least have someone there to enjoy it with. It was a waste of time in me arranging it. The warning signs were already there, but at that age I was too naive to see it.
I've made occasional prompts with family over going out for my birthday during my 20's. It's resulted in huffs, puffs, "
not got enough time / money" comments most times - so by my late twenties I'd already pretty much lost what faith I had left in people. When I was about 28, I had to have a 'combined celebration' (just a meal out - nothing special) with my parents as it's their wedding anniversary about three weeks before my birthday.
Barring my 21st (which I paid for out of my own pocket and went to a hotel -
alone...), I've never been away for my birthday. There's been no party since I was single digits in terms of age. There's been no 'get together' to have a few drinks on that evening (or nearest weekend to it) - nothing! Now, I must stress that I'm not an outgoing person. I wouldn't be here otherwise! However, it would be nice to just have
something happening. A day where people would acknowledge me - just as they do for anyone else they know. No prompts or anything required!