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Old 13th September 2017, 22:06
garfield28 garfield28 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2
Default Help with a friend

So, I have this friend who's been depressed for a while now.

I get why she's feeling that way since she's been having many problems, but recently she's been very self destructive.

She constantly says she'd better off dead, that her parents would be better if she hadn't been born etc.

I've noticed she's been very different from the past years (she's always been very excited about some stuff and now she's indifferent).

I've been thinking that she could possibly kill herself at some point and I really wanted to help her somehow. I don't know how to start a conversation about suicide with her - should I?

Oh, we're currently not living in the same city, so I can't do anything in person with her.
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Old 13th September 2017, 22:35
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: near Bolsover, Derbyshire
Posts: 642
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Default Re: Help with a friend

Hi Garfield, I'm not sure that having a direct conversation about suicide would necessarily be the best approach, but you could remind her that people love her and care about her, that their lives would be poorer if she weren't around. She may be thinking about suicide, or she may just be looking for reassurance (I've said the same things myself in the past, I have to admit). If there's someone you can contact who is closer to her and let them know that she's feeling low (I'm not suggesting you tell them she's suicidal, she's said those things to you in confidence, but just say that it might be a good idea to keep an eye on her), that might also be a good idea.

You say that she's been self-destructive: has she been harming herself in some way?

A lot of people say these things when they're down without actively contemplating suicide - when I felt that way, I just wanted not to wake up in the morning; having said that, I wouldn't take it for granted that she isn't thinking that way either.
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Old 13th September 2017, 22:43
garfield28 garfield28 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2
Default Re: Help with a friend

Thanks for your answer, gregarious!

First of all, she's been self destructive in the way of saying she's completely worthless, that she's useless, that nobody cares about her etc etc.

She never harmed herself (as far as I know).

She's been telling me things she doesn't tell others and I like that she trusts me this way, but at the same time she's said once or twice that I don't know the whole story and that's she's not ready to tell me everything yet.

I do remind her all the time that people love her and that she's an awesome person and everything, but it doesn't help that she lives in a very small town and most of her friends moved to the capital or to other countries.

All our mutual friends live far from her as well. I don't know any of her closer friends, so if I contact any of them it would be weird,I guess. I could, though, tell our mutual friends to say hello to her.
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