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  #901  
Old 17th September 2017, 11:34
anxiouslondoner anxiouslondoner is online now
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^^That's not so, you're very loved and would be greatly missed. It's just the depression talking. I care about you.
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  #902  
Old 17th September 2017, 18:05
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

That's really kind of you both
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  #903  
Old 17th September 2017, 19:46
SHYGIRLAJB SHYGIRLAJB is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Very angry ...
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  #904  
Old 17th September 2017, 21:16
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ *big hug* thank you x
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  #905  
Old 19th September 2017, 15:34
Hayman Hayman is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

"So, so" at the moment... Feeling under-appreciated at work at the moment (long story...). Yesterday was just another prime example when I was blamed for making mistakes which turned out weren't even mine... As usual though, I'm blamed for everything.

Fortunately, tomorrow is my last day in work until the 28th. I'm off down to Devon for a long weekend (I go there every year) and have a few days off around it also.

I just need to get away from feeling as if I'm simply 'existing' to be argued with or used as some sort of punchbag. It's been another rotten year for our family. Having to deal with my mother's cancer (thankfully stage one), my brother had pneumonia in January that took him a good few months to recover from, dealing with my last surviving grandparent passing away and then my mother (again) being diagnosed with diabetes. Then there's my father retiring from work (rightfully so, he's 65 and worked since he was 15) which puts us in a difficult situation financially... My own health is suffering as I'm lucky to get five hours sleep a night and my Colitis has flared up through the stress.

It's a good job I have a thicker skin than I used to because otherwise I'd have been visiting my doctor regularly again... I am actually considering visiting him because I'm struggling to cope with everything at the moment.
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  #906  
Old 19th September 2017, 16:37
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

HUNGRY!
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  #907  
Old 19th September 2017, 18:14
Oddity Oddity is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^
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  #908  
Old 19th September 2017, 18:19
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Sorry Ignore me.
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  #909  
Old 19th September 2017, 20:12
Kooky Monster Kooky Monster is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^^^ I understand, Clem. Sometimes you just don't get back any of what you put out. People can suck and take the piss sometimes.

I'm in a weird, melancholic, reflective mood. In the past two years, my grandfather has died, my cat has died, my mum has been diagnosed with treatable but incurable cancer, my one and only relationship ended, someone I considered a best friend turned out to be a petty, mean bitch and to top it all off, my depression and anxiety have both become really, bleedin' bad.
Today I heard from a friend that I haven't spoken to for a few years. In that time she's got married, had a baby daughter and is building a house. I'm more than happy for her but at the same time, it's really brought home how crap things have been and how they're going to get much worse before they get better (if that's even possible). I can't bring myself to think about losing my mum, she's the only real family I have. The thought of being completely alone in this world is a ****ing terrifying one.

Anyway, this has been some self-indulgent wallowing in self-pity from Kooky.
Please don't quote.
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  #910  
Old 19th September 2017, 20:44
flumpsy flumpsy is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

I am in bits.

The only person I have or would ever talk to about this kind of thing has just watched his mum getting loaded into the back of a blacked out ford transit (15 plate with anthracite alloys). She wasnt just a neighbours mum, she was a very special lady.

Is it ok to be angry that facebook randoms who never met her found out hours before me even though she was not even 20 meters away ? I guess its just misdirected anger.

And also hungry.

Please do not quote.
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  #911  
Old 19th September 2017, 21:18
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ Thinking of you and your friend, it's very sad.
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  #912  
Old 20th September 2017, 01:07
flumpsy flumpsy is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ & ^^

Thank you both, I feel so utterly powerless. I have two good friends in serious need at the moment, neither of whom I am able to contact and neither of whom I would even know how to help anyway. The more I think about it the less I think he is going to cope, poor fella



Please dont quote.
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  #913  
Old 20th September 2017, 10:43
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ Thinking of you, and your friend
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  #914  
Old 20th September 2017, 11:00
flumpsy flumpsy is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ thank you
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  #915  
Old 21st September 2017, 07:23
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Like all the world's sadness and fear has taken the form of some great, infinitely heavy beast and it's decided to curl up and sleep on my chest.
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  #916  
Old 22nd September 2017, 23:24
wd40mk17.4 wd40mk17.4 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Emotional like theres a thin layer of sausage casing around a sausage made out of blurgh and urghh and insecurity and self-hatred and sadness, and the sausage is put under the grill and the casing splits and it starts to ooze out all its ugly innards over the grill.

but I got me some ale and pretzels so thats good.
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  #917  
Old 23rd September 2017, 00:06
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ Did you keep the receipt?
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  #918  
Old 23rd September 2017, 00:44
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

It's a bloody shame is what it is. I used to be quite fond of a Snickers. I'm glad i got out when i did

Jackie Chiles, what a character...
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  #919  
Old 27th September 2017, 18:10
SHYGIRLAJB SHYGIRLAJB is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Not good😿
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  #920  
Old 31st October 2017, 14:43
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^

I’m feeling like a bit of a pariah, or piranha or whatever
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  #921  
Old 31st October 2017, 17:51
SHYGIRLAJB SHYGIRLAJB is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Sadly still feel a freak ....
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  #922  
Old 31st October 2017, 18:15
anxiouslondoner anxiouslondoner is online now
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^^ why?
^ I'm sure you're not, or we all are!
I feel philhellenic. Also hungry. I've eaten nothing today but a chocolate bar from a local supermarket as everywhere was closed, or I thought it was until I found all the open places when the bus was about to turn up. Still, great scenery, and met lots of friendly cats and dogs today.
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  #923  
Old 31st October 2017, 19:12
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ I don’t know, it’s kind of my default setting to presume everyone despises me.

When are you leaving? Bring me back cheese!
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  #924  
Old 1st November 2017, 12:23
Muggins Muggins is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

@ Always - If the person who turned up at your door unannounced is the same person who berated you for your appearance then they should think their self lucky that they didnít get the door slammed in their face! Some people are so rude and just donít think before they speak. And sometimes they intentionally put others down because they feel jealous and inadequate. Iím sure you look lovely always Always But thatís not the point. One persons opinion is simply just that - one opinion. Donít take it as fact
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  #925  
Old 6th November 2017, 01:32
wd40mk17.4 wd40mk17.4 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

I want to rant, but there is no point. ( it's just throwing text out into the ether )
I wish I had someone to talk to. ( although listening to someone else's "woe is me" spiel would get very old very quickly )

My life has shrunk to basically nothing.
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  #926  
Old 6th November 2017, 11:20
jinny jinny is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ loneliness is pants
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  #927  
Old 6th November 2017, 12:05
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

.
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  #928  
Old 7th November 2017, 19:54
Womble Womble is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

I understand what you mean. Life has a way of chipping away at aspects of our identity at times. It's all there though, it's just having the confidence to express yourself honestly.
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  #929  
Old 11th November 2017, 08:47
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

I feel like a worthless, hideous joke of a person. I’m disgusting.
I’ve wasted what should have been the best years of my life and now I’m just an ugly old slob who’s never achieved anything and has zero to offer and everything is downhill from here.
My epitaph should read ‘What a ****ing waste of time that was’.
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  #930  
Old 11th November 2017, 10:43
Nervous Wreck Nervous Wreck is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ You know all the kindness, empathy, consideration and understanding you give out to everyone else?? You really should try some of that on yourself Clem. I could think of a few folk that your words above would apply to but seriously, none of those apply to you.
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