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  #61  
Old 16th September 2017, 07:38
Schmosby Schmosby is online now
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

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Originally Posted by Ajax Amsterdam
Another reason was that I didn't, and still don't, think the world is such a good place to bring a child into. For many years I actually resented being born and brought into all this. Parents can choose, but the child can't. I was always mindful of that.
This was my experience too and is my main reason for not wanting children. Lack of funds would be another, paying for my children with other people's taxes doesn't sit at all right with me. Lastly having my children stolen from me by the mother is a big factor, there is no way to tell how things are going to pan out over the years and due to the gynocentric society we live in, the mother would most likely gain custody.
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  #62  
Old 16th September 2017, 07:55
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

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Originally Posted by SHYGIRLAJB
Yes .. I have always wanted children.., but sadly it's a case of if you was going to have any something would have happened by now .,.. Unfortunately the older I get the more bitter I become .... It doesn't help my partner says he doesn't want any children ....
Are you trying to get pregnant or aren't in a position to get pregnant.
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  #63  
Old 16th September 2017, 11:41
SHYGIRLAJB SHYGIRLAJB is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

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Originally Posted by newbs16
Are you trying to get pregnant or aren't in a position to get pregnant.
Tricky question, I always got told I may have problems in that department as I've always had irregular periods ... My partner says we can't afford any children and he is put off as he seen others .... Plus he has a problem which he won't get sorted .... It's hard being a lady as I feel broody most of the time ...
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  #64  
Old 16th September 2017, 15:01
Vienna Vienna is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Think it's been well documented on here that I don't like children. Not that I would hurt them or anything.
I feel the same as ajax and schmosy, plus they must cost a fortune.
Can someone tell me how the hell they manage to pay for things for them , especially if you're on benefits.

I certainly think if you're not well enough to look after yourself then you shouldn't be having them
My cousin just had one , not sure what's wrong with mentally but she finds it hard looking after herself, now the courts have taken the kid off her, poor kid what kinda life will he have in care tut.
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  #65  
Old 16th September 2017, 17:40
Ajax Amsterdam Ajax Amsterdam is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

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Originally Posted by Vienna
...plus they must cost a fortune.
Can someone tell me how the hell they manage to pay for things for them , especially if you're on benefits...
I simply couldn't afford to have kids even if I wanted them. The cost of adequately providing for children must be horrific, and that's before we even get started on the cost of the gadgets, clothes etc that they all want to keep abreast of peer/societal pressures.

On holiday just recently I heard the mother in the apartment next door complaining to her three young children that they had to rein in the spending because they had gone through 700 euros and were only mid-day on the third day of their stay. Holy crap, my parner and I didn't even go through that much between us on our entire nine night self-catering stay.
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  #66  
Old 28th September 2017, 14:26
Hayman Hayman is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

My opinion since last November when I posted in this thread hasn't changed. Given my age (now 32), I'd rather not bother. I was very much up for having them in my mid 20's when it seems to be the time most seem to have them. I felt ready but without even a date to my name, I do feel well and truly 'cheated' out of an ordinary family life.

"What if the right person come along?" some will ask. Let's just say someone did… Highly unlikely, but let’s just gloss over the painful truth for a second… What would it take? Well, simple really… I'd want the same amount 'fun times' as a couple before having children – which seems to typically range from five to ten years judging upon former friends of mine (almost 12 years in one particular case). I'd want a fair share of that quality time as a couple and I'd refuse to rush. It's not fair on me. I've already missed out on 16 years of 'fun times' so far and I would want to have a good portion of that back without compromise. I know at my age, this would rule me out as female body clocks are ticking but in my defence – I've always been available for 'careful selection' and always been ready to 'tango'. It isn't a sudden decision I've made… I've always been there. Ignored and ruled out. The fact that I've never been selected to enjoy what comes to the vast majority of people, quite frankly, isn't solely my fault. Not with the genuine effort I know I've made, especially since the end of my 20's. I will not be demonised for other people's bad choices in the past or much more common these days - promiscuity.

Again as I said last year though, I never had any intention on being an older father so I've pretty much accepted it's a ship that's already long since sailed for me. I have no intentions on rushing to having a main course when I’ve not had starters yet…or even given the menu.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Schmosby
and due to the gynocentric society we live in, the mother would most likely gain custody.
An excellent point, there… That’s another big reason why I'd now prefer to not have children without any written prenuptial agreement made.
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  #67  
Old 28th September 2017, 15:04
jinny jinny is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ajax Amsterdam
I simply couldn't afford to have kids even if I wanted them. The cost of adequately providing for children must be horrific, and that's before we even get started on the cost of the gadgets, clothes etc that they all want to keep abreast of peer/societal pressures.

On holiday just recently I heard the mother in the apartment next door complaining to her three young children that they had to rein in the spending because they had gone through 700 euros and were only mid-day on the third day of their stay. Holy crap, my parner and I didn't even go through that much between us on our entire nine night self-catering stay.
you spend what you can afford, but it definitely is a struggle!
For example, our last holiday cost less than 1000 for all 4 of us all in. That's why we camp, like a lot of families, we couldn't afford a luxury holiday. My kids don't get many clothes, just decent basic stuff, we're not materialistic, they get gadgets & stuff at Christmas, but then I know from people's posts on here that a lot of people who work buy themselves things they want, I buy things for my children, not myself & that's fine.
Luckily my kids are well grounded and I've tried to teach them the importance of enjoying experiences, rather than things, so they don't ask for much & a lot of their friends are similar, they tend to have hobbies, rather than want expensive trainers etc.

But yep, even so it's a struggle, I keep our food bill down by shopping at Lidl/aldi & cooking from scratch, but there's always something to find money for, usually it's to do with school, money for trips/uniform etc. It annoys me as my kids would be happy in an old hoodie & jeans, but no, I had to spend over 200 on my son's uniform, he needed 3 different pairs of trainers for PE WTF?

@ shygirl, you should fight for what you want

@ Vienna, I agree, if you can't get your sh*t together enough to provide something of a decent upbringing, then you should have the sense not to have any babies. Getting pregnant and having a baby is one thing, spending the next 18 years providing a home is a different thing altogether.
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