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  #18541  
Old 7th October 2017, 16:11
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

This might have been the worst year of my life so far, the hardest one at least. I lost months of it to a mental breakdown and nearly died. Iíve lost people who were precious to me. Iíve been fighting since but I donít know what for, I can never fight hard enough to do more than tread water that I donít even want to be treading.
I was getting help for a bit so I felt a little hopeful but now thatís stopped, I was doing well with seeing the doctor but Iíve screwed that up too now and am too scared to sort it out.
Iím a pathetic excuse for a person, thereís no reason for me to exist and I strongly feel that I was never supposed to. I detest everything about myself, everything that I do and everything that I canít do. I donít want to hurt anymore and I donít want to hurt anyone else.
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  #18542  
Old 7th October 2017, 16:46
Miggs The Terrible Miggs The Terrible is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Either my charger is being weird or it's the phone...took ages to charge and turn on today :/ damn you cyber gods!
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  #18543  
Old 7th October 2017, 16:47
Pandapop Pandapop is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I'm so hungry, need food now. I gave my room a huge clear out today so that it's ready for Christmas
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  #18544  
Old 7th October 2017, 16:54
flumpsy flumpsy is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clementine
This might have been the worst year of my life so far, the hardest one at least. I lost months of it to a mental breakdown and nearly died. Iíve lost people who were precious to me. Iíve been fighting since but I donít know what for, I can never fight hard enough to do more than tread water that I donít even want to be treading.
I was getting help for a bit so I felt a little hopeful but now thatís stopped, I was doing well with seeing the doctor but Iíve screwed that up too now and am too scared to sort it out.
Iím a pathetic excuse for a person, thereís no reason for me to exist and I strongly feel that I was never supposed to. I detest everything about myself, everything that I do and everything that I canít do. I donít want to hurt anymore and I donít want to hurt anyone else.
You cant possibly know what is to come, you still seem to be treading water anyway just in case so thats good. I suspect some good must be coming, you are certainly due some good given what you have been through. You can get back to getting help from where you need it I am sure, in time.

tl;dr - Chin up gal, it may never happen.
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  #18545  
Old 7th October 2017, 17:42
Muggins Muggins is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kooky Monster
Edit: Ordered new beads to make a new one, immediately found my bracelet hiding in the most random place Oh well, I guess someone's getting a bracelet that looks exactly like mine for Christmas then.
Maybe you could keep the new bracelet you are making, just in case the bracelet you already have finds another random place to go missing in the future

The thought of making my own jewellery really appeals to me.

Shall look forward to seeing the piccie of your new bracelet Kooky
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  #18546  
Old 7th October 2017, 17:50
Kooky Monster Kooky Monster is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ haha, it had crossed my mind to do that Muggins, I'm far too aware of how absent-minded I am, but sometimes I like to pretend otherwise

There are plenty of online resources - tutorials and the like for jewellery making and the materials can be pretty cheap too. It's a nice little hobby to have.
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  #18547  
Old 7th October 2017, 17:52
Miggs The Terrible Miggs The Terrible is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Making a ham sandwich
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  #18548  
Old 7th October 2017, 18:10
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miggs The Terrible
Making a ham sandwich
You having coleslaw too?
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  #18549  
Old 7th October 2017, 18:12
Muggins Muggins is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clementine
This might have been the worst year of my life so far, the hardest one at least. I lost months of it to a mental breakdown and nearly died. Iíve lost people who were precious to me. Iíve been fighting since but I donít know what for, I can never fight hard enough to do more than tread water that I donít even want to be treading.
I was getting help for a bit so I felt a little hopeful but now thatís stopped, I was doing well with seeing the doctor but Iíve screwed that up too now and am too scared to sort it out.
Iím a pathetic excuse for a person, thereís no reason for me to exist and I strongly feel that I was never supposed to. I detest everything about myself, everything that I do and everything that I canít do. I donít want to hurt anymore and I donít want to hurt anyone else.

Youíve certainly had a tough Year Clementine and my heart goes out to you.

Thank goodness you came through the mental breakdown and are still here for those people who love and care about you. I think the fact that you have encountered many difficult situations in your life that would leave many people flailing but that you eventually came out the other side indicates that you are a lot stronger than you believe yourself to be. You suffered a very recent bereavement so it is natural that you will be struggling at the moment

I honestly canít imagine that you would ever intentionally hurt anyone. The fact that your issues sometimes cause you to withdraw from people who you have come to mean so much to is a common trait among many mental health sufferers here and not something you should beat yourself up over.

You know that there are always people about, myself included, whenever you need to reach out

Take care Clem x
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  #18550  
Old 7th October 2017, 18:14
Muggins Muggins is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kooky Monster
^ haha, it had crossed my mind to do that Muggins, I'm far too aware of how absent-minded I am, but sometimes I like to pretend otherwise

There are plenty of online resources - tutorials and the like for jewellery making and the materials can be pretty cheap too. It's a nice little hobby to have.
I just might check those tutorials out, thanks Kooky
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  #18551  
Old 7th October 2017, 21:18
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Tired

Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kooky Monster
^ It's a great feeling being able to breathe again, isn't it? Glad your starting to get over the worst
yes, it definitely makes sleeping much more pleasant! Thanks
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  #18552  
Old 7th October 2017, 21:20
Miggs The Terrible Miggs The Terrible is offline
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Shoveit

Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebka
I think my phone may ďspontaneouslyĒ combust yay fire!
your posts crack me up rebka. Is your phone crap like mine then?
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  #18553  
Old 7th October 2017, 21:56
Miggs The Terrible Miggs The Terrible is offline
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Shoveit

Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ oh yea, they don't react well to physical persuasion do they? I've smashed a screen or two in my day...you regret if after but at the time it's very satisfying!
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  #18554  
Old 7th October 2017, 22:04
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Today is a year since I met miggs They call it a friendaversary.
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  #18555  
Old 7th October 2017, 22:10
Miggs The Terrible Miggs The Terrible is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^^ whose 'they' I'd never heard of it before lol

Why do they interview fighters? Unless they're Ali, which they're not...who cares?
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  #18556  
Old 7th October 2017, 22:18
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Are you there, God? It's me, Merritt. Could I have a new arse, please? I think this one's gone off.
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  #18557  
Old 7th October 2017, 22:20
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Really hope Clementine is okay
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  #18558  
Old 7th October 2017, 22:26
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ I hope Clem is okay too.
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  #18559  
Old 7th October 2017, 23:13
Miggs The Terrible Miggs The Terrible is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

This site is ****ing dead
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  #18560  
Old 7th October 2017, 23:42
Boy Boy is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

My sun, look at me, my palm turned into a fist. And if there's powder, give fire.
That's right.
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  #18561  
Old 7th October 2017, 23:44
Kooky Monster Kooky Monster is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miggs The Terrible
This site is ****ing dead
Yep There doesn't seem to be many night owls around anymore. I miss playing games with people at 3am.

Last edited by Kooky Monster; 7th October 2017 at 23:46. Reason: Horrific grammar
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  #18562  
Old 7th October 2017, 23:52
Purplesnarf Purplesnarf is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Happy friendaversary newbs and miggs

I also hope Clems okay.
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  #18563  
Old 8th October 2017, 00:15
Kooky Monster Kooky Monster is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by john smith
I'm usually here in the early hours.
See you in the games room then, perhaps
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  #18564  
Old 8th October 2017, 00:16
Toxic Toxic is offline
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Alienated

Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

its about 1hr30 till I could potentially get THAT lottery email (usually saying I've won a lucky dip, bastards)

I mean I could just check my account now and be disappointed but no fun in that.
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  #18565  
Old 8th October 2017, 00:22
Kooky Monster Kooky Monster is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ If you've won BIG they send you an email telling you to phone them and they don't reveal how much you've won. Waiting to make that phone call to find out would drive me absolutely bonkers!

Hope you've won something better than a measly lucky dip!
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  #18566  
Old 8th October 2017, 00:35
Toxic Toxic is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Really?

I always wondered if you got the GOOD NEWS, PLEASE LOG IN TO CHECK email..even if it was millions

The best I've ever won is £25 anyway, hardly enough to tell my boss where to stick it
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  #18567  
Old 8th October 2017, 01:06
Muggins Muggins is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Iím already missing Clementine
I hope sheís okay and returns to the forum soon.
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  #18568  
Old 8th October 2017, 04:53
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kooky Monster
^ If you've won BIG they send you an email telling you to phone them and they don't reveal how much you've won. Waiting to make that phone call to find out would drive me absolutely bonkers!

Hope you've won something better than a measly lucky dip!
So you don't just get news about your ticket email?
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  #18569  
Old 8th October 2017, 08:07
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Tired

Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

That I have to drive down to Bognor again - lets see how lost I can get this time, lol.

Kinda feel like just staying in bed...
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  #18570  
Old 8th October 2017, 08:14
Silent Ninja Silent Ninja is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Where did all that rain come from? It was supposed to be dry last night, I might have to delay my bike ride until this afternoon now.
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