Meditation and Awareness: My 3-part system

[Warrior Spirit]

Salutations,

I wanted to share my three-part system that has been incredibly effective with me in reducing my anxiety and generally improving my life. This is not a system, however, that you can just apply and get results straight away. It is a system that you have to practice and the system itself grows with you. I will forewarn that I am an unapologetic spiritual person, and many of my comments will be biassed in that direction. If you are somebody who are offended by such things, or want to debate these philosophies then please do not read any further. I am not going to debate these philosophies here, but I am open to discussing them in private if you want.

The Science

One of the reasons we are feeling the anxiety is because of self-consciousness. Rather than our attention being focussed on the world, which we are getting from our 5 basic senses, our attention is focussed on our internal dialogue. Statements like "Are they are looking at me funny", "I am doing something stupid" are going through our mind and these then precipitate certain feelings like nausea, stress, heart palpitations, sweating, blushing etc.

The problem with many of us SA sufferers is that the gap between the thought and the feeling is so narrow, that we are often not even aware of the negative thoughts, so it seems to be very automatic. To an extent it is true that it is automatic, our nervous system has become so use to reacting as it does, that it has become a habitual response. As soon as we encounter certain triggers such as somebody looking at us in a certin way, that response is recalled.

This can seem rather depressing, if the process is just an automatic nervous system response, then what can we do? Are we just victims to our own body? Fortunately the good news is, and I will speak for myself, there is always a window of awareness in which we can catch these thoughts and nip them at their bud. That window of awareness can seem so small, that it may not seem to be there at all, but I will again confidently assert - again speaking for myself - it is there. And I have more good news, this window of awareness can be expanded and made wider and wider.

How does awareness help? When you are in awareness, the gap between thought and feeling becomes visible to you. You will be able to observe your own thoughts as they occur in the space of your awareness, in the same way you can observe images pass by on a movie screen. Sometimes, we become so engrossed with images even on a movie screen, that we lose awareness. If a huge monster chases a human in a horror movie, we might even get scared. This is because we become identified with the situation in the movie. That identification is broken as soon as we come back to awareness and realise we are watching a movie and the images are not really us; we are the observer of the movie. Likewise, the thoughts that are occuring within the space of our awareness, are not really us, we are the observer of our thoughts.

The realisation that I am not my thoughts is very powerful, and it is a realisation that you will hear from many mystics and sages both in modern and ancient times. So what are we? We are the awareness within which thoughts, feelings and forms take place. The observer of it all. When one makes this realisation they are able to pull themselves out of all identifications and see things from a much wider and higher perspective. In this state of being you are spiritually free and limitless. It is said to be the state of true happiness, confidence and abundance. It is a beautiful state to be in and thus a state we should cultivate.

How?

This is of course the most important part of this post. I think I have discussed enough background and the basic science of why this system works, now I will get straight to the methods. There are three parts of this system, which when applied properly can expand your awareness and begin to cultivate higher states of being.

1. Affirmations

If you understand the science and agree with the science then you are already affirming the truth that "I am awareness" But after a while you will forget this again and again identify yourself with your thoughts, or with your body, or with some image. Simply because it is habit to do this and moreover the identifications seem very real. This is why saying the affirmation, "I am awareness" to yourself over and over again throughout the day, like a personal mantra is very helpful in maintaining the realisation that you are indeed the awareness. You are indeed the observer of all thoughts, feelings, forms, images. You are not them. You are beyond them.

2. Meditation

There are 101+ ways to meditate. If you already are meditating and have a practice going on just continue doing that. There is no right or wrong practice. All these practices are doing the same thing: cultivating awarenss. I am going to share a very simple practice with you that is used in the Gnostic school as an introductory meditation. It maybe introductory, but really it is sufficient by itself and you may never need any other practice.

1. Assume a comfortable position, a position in which you can stay comfortably still for at least 15-20 min. The best positions I find are sitting crossed-legged or sitting upright on a chair. It is best to keep your spine straight. Now close your eyes.

2. Start to relax your body progressively, becoming aware of various parts of your body and relax them. It usually helps to do this systematically beginning from your toes and working your way up your body. The aim is simply to relax your body.

3. Take 3 deep breaths through your nose, this will oxygenate your brain and your blood, leading to deeper relaxation. Now become aware of your breath for at least 2 min. This is an excellent method of leading you into the deeper practice of awareness.

4. Now become aware of the various sensations around you. Just become aware of them, don't try to label them or name them, just experience the sensations. First Become aware of the feelings of the air touching your skin, the temperature of the room, the body, the breath entering and leaving your nose. Secondly, become aware of the sounds around you. Now become aware of the darkness behind your eyes and the colours that may appear. Now just allow yourself to remain in this awareness.

5. Now that you are in awareness, just remain in this state of awareness for as long as you can for a minimum of 15-20 min. Whenever you catch yourself drifting off or thinking, just return to awareness by becoming aware of the sensations around you or just repeating step 4.

If you are new to meditation you will likely find that you will not be able to maintain awareness for long. Your mind will jump from one thought to the other, your body will fidget, you will feel like coming out of meditation constatly. This is fine and to be expected. The more regularly you will meditate the less this will happen and the longer you will be able to remain in awareness. It is just like working out the gym, it is uncomfortable and difficult at first, but with regular practice and perserverence, you are able to make some impressive gains.

As your awareness develops you will be able remain in meditation for longer periods and barely even notice the passage of time. It is advisable to start a regular daily meditation routine.

3. Application of Meditation: Mindfullness

The real test of how well much you are progressing in your meditation is if you can remain in awareness even after meditation is over, in your daily life. This is where it becomes especially important for us SA sufferers. If we could be in awareness all the time, then anxiety would never take place, because the identification with the anxiety-causing thoughts would not take place. However, being in awareness all the time is difficult even for advanced meditators, so a more realistic goal is to aim to be in awareness some of the time. To do this begin to practice the method of mindfullness.

Mindfullness could not be any more simple. Whatever you are doing, whether that be walking, washing the dishes, eating, listening, talking, put all your awareness into that. I especially want to say something about listening from an SA point of view. Most of the time when we are listening, we are feeling the anticipation of speaking, because whilst listening we are already thinking of speaking and thus we are not being mindful of listening.
If we were mindful of listening, much of our anxiety about speaking would go away.

This is the entire 3-part system I have been using and still using for many years now. It has definitely delivered excellent results for me. I cannot guarantee you results though, because I have no idea how you are going to use the system and what other factors are involved. I can say however that if you do sincerely practice the system, and do it regularly and perservere, it is highly likely you will get just as good results, if not better.

Wishing you a good and swift recovery,

Warrior Spirit

[SoftlySpoken1]

I too have found meditation and mindfulness very useful.

For me it was the realisation of how much your thoughts can affect your mood that was very powerful in overcoming depression.

Thank You for posting this!

[barrett]

Originally Posted by Warrior Spirit

Mindfullness could not be any more simple. Whatever you are doing, whether that be walking, washing the dishes, eating, listening, talking, put all your awareness into that.

what if you were thinking, would you put your awareness into that?

[Warrior Spirit]

Originally Posted by barrett

what if you were thinking, would you put your awareness into that?

Thinking is actually the the opposite of awareness in this context. When you are thinking you are preoccupied with the thoughts about something, which usually are thoughts about the past or thoughts about the future. For example, when we have thoughts of what will happen in x social situation, we may either be thinking about past situations just like that or expecting something particular to happen(usually informed by the past). In both cases the mind is either in the past or in the future. So it is not within awareness.

To be in awareness you enter the present moment. That is a bit of a cliche, but it is the best way describe it. The mind is usually jumping between past and future like a mad monkey, that we seldom actually experience the moment truefuly. This can happen with very simple activities like eating. One could be eating, and think thoughts like, "This tastes like" jumping into the past. Or, "What am I eating after this" jumping into the future or, "How am I eating?"

The last one ironically enough was a really big problem with me when I was at school. I use to be really self-conscious when I was eating in front of peers, that I would actually avoid meals at school. Fortunately, it is gone now. I am rarely self-conscious now when I eat. I actually enjoy what I am eating with little care of whose looking.

So the basic principle behind mindfulness is just to be present to your current moment and your current sensations. Ideally the more thoughtless you are, the better. This is also known as thoughtless awareness.

[Warrior Spirit]

Originally Posted by SoftlySpoken1

I too have found meditation and mindfulness very useful.

For me it was the realisation of how much your thoughts can affect your mood that was very powerful in overcoming depression.

Thank You for posting this!

Thank you very much.

I had major depression about 10 years ago. That was when I actually started meditation, and like yourself, it was very powerful in overcoming it.

I think thoughts definitely affect your mood. The real problem however is not our thoughts in themselves, it is our identifications with our thoughts. We already have the discrimination to not identify with some of our thoughts. If we get the thought, "Kill him/kill her" and trust me I use to get some really evil thoughts in the past, most of us have the discrimination to not identify with such thoughts. Unfortunately, there are a few in our world that do act on thoughts like this. I could have been one of those people, if I was not as aware as I was when I use to get those thoughts

[SoftlySpoken1]

Originally Posted by Warrior Spirit

Thank you very much.

I had major depression about 10 years ago. That was when I actually started meditation, and like yourself, it was very powerful in overcoming it.

I think thoughts definitely affect your mood. The real problem however is not our thoughts in themselves, it is our identifications with your thoughts. We already have the discrimination to not identify with some of our thoughts. If we get the thought, "Kill him/kill her" and trust me I use to get some really evil thoughts in the past, most of us have the discrimination to not identify with such thoughts. Unfortunately, there are a few in our world that do act on thoughts like this. I could have been one of those people, if I was not as aware as I was when I use to get those thoughts

Yours is an extreme example there - I think for me I was just telling myself how pathetic, useless, hopeless I was....and it felt true...

Some people have said to me that meditation is a way of numbing yourself...kind of going into a trance and escaping from the harsh parts of life...but its not...its about facing up to the reality of life...calmly...

[Thorn]

Hey Warrior Spirit, I just wanted to say thanks for putting so much effort into this post . It's nice to see something on here that people can use to improve themselves and overcome their issues. Thanks for sharing.

[Tim Ed]

Hi WS:
I too would like to thank you for your great post!!
I know that some of us here may find it a bit abstract and difficult to do, but from my own experience (though I haven't put as much effort into it as you) these techniques can be very effective.

I'd like to add that today's CBT is helpful as well, but sometimes it can have the perverse effect of getting you to concentrate even more attention on negative things and thoughts, than you would usually. Your meditation-based technique is much healthier from that point of view, since the result is to be less involved with thoughts... I'm sure you agree?

[Warrior Spirit]

Originally Posted by SoftlySpoken1

Yours is an extreme example there - I think for me I was just telling myself how pathetic, useless, hopeless I was....and it felt true...

Some people have said to me that meditation is a way of numbing yourself...kind of going into a trance and escaping from the harsh parts of life...but its not...its about facing up to the reality of life...calmly...

Extreme examples are often the best to illustrate a point. In this case the point is that we are not our thoughts, we are the awareness within which thoughts take place. Just as I can discriminate with thoughts like "Kill him/kill her" likewise I can discriminate with any thought. Such as your own example "I am pathetic, I am useless, I am hopeles" Ultimately, none of our thoughts identify who we are. We are well beyond any of the labels our thoughts give us.

Why do those thoughts come? I pondered over why I use to get evil thoughts. It really made me question, "Am I an evil person?" I then realised why the thoughts were happening. Whenever I had an evil thought, I would identify with it so strongly I would have a very strong aversion to it. The result was that thought become stronger and would pop up more. Again, I reacted in the same way. It just became even more intense. Likewise, if the thought is "I am ugly" and everytime it comes it causes a strong reaction in us, all that does is feed the thought and make it stronger and stronger. The result: It will keeping coming back.

This is why awareness really helps. Awareness is like a light which when shone on the darkness of the thoughts causes the thoughts to dissolve into the light of awareness. As soon as you become aware that you are not the thought "I am ugly" but in fact you are the awareness who is observing the thought "I am ugly" then it loses its power. The result: It will start to die out.

The time it takes for the thought to die out completely depends on the extent of your awareness and on how strong that thought is. If that thought is very deeply embedded because of how much it has repeated itself in your life, then it will take some time for it to die out. In my cases many thoughts that use to pester me have died out. Such as the evil thoughts and the self-consciousness over how I ate in public. Some are still there, but they are getting weaker and weaker by the day.

[Warrior Spirit]

Thanks Thorn.

Originally Posted by Tim Ed

Hi WS:
I too would like to thank you for your great post!!
I know that some of us here may find it a bit abstract and difficult to do, but from my own experience (though I haven't put as much effort into it as you) these techniques can be very effective.

I'd like to add that today's CBT is helpful as well, but sometimes it can have the perverse effect of getting you to concentrate even more attention on negative things and thoughts, than you would usually. Your meditation-based technique is much healthier from that point of view, since the result is to be less involved with thoughts... I'm sure you agree?

Thank you too. I have not really formally tried CBT, but I know what it is about and have applied it, but generally I have found it to be quite difficult to do. Perhaps there is a problem in the philosophy itself. If a negative thought occurs, replace it with a positive thought. This gets you into a habit of reactive thinking. You end up developoing an aversion to negative thoughts, and everytime you get one, you quickly react almost like you are being attacked. So I can see how such a mindset can lead to one actually concentrating more on negative things.

How the awareness technique is different to this approach is that instead of replacing a thought with another thought, you simply make an effort to return back to awareness as soon as you become aware of the thought. I have a good example of using this technique today when I was going out. I was waiting at the bus stop and I noticed when people would pass me by on foot, anxiety thoughts were just about to arise. However, as soon as I became aware of that, I shifted my awareness back to the present by simply become aware of the sensations, sights, sounds and smells around me. I did not even give a chance for the anxiety thought to arise. I only had to do this a few times and the anxiety thoughts stopped. When the bus came and I sat down, I was even audibly singing a song to myself, with not a care for anybody hearing me on the bus. There was no anxiety thoughts for me to even care about what others would think.

[Tim Ed]

Thanks, that example of your singing in the bus was nice to read. I like the way it gives the impression of leaving one's worries behind... which is what a lot of us would like to be able to do! Got any more examples like that one, to motivate us to get more involved with meditation and mindfulness?
Has meditating made it easier for you to be in a group of people and speak more than before, for example?

[Warrior Spirit]

Originally Posted by Tim Ed

Thanks, that example of your singing in the bus was nice to read. I like the way it gives the impression of leaving one's worries behind... which is what a lot of us would like to be able to do! Got any more examples like that one, to motivate us to get more involved with meditation and mindfulness?
Has meditating made it easier for you to be in a group of people and speak more than before, for example?

Yeah, I was using it again today. I went out of town today and there were many times I used it throughout the day. I was especially on edge today. I think maybe because I did not get enough sleep. So I could feel I was more anxiety-prone today. A few times I used it was when a group of young people approached me. This is very interesting with me. I seem to get more anxiety with young people looking at me, or passing me by, especially if they are approaching. I have much less problems with older people.

Anyway as they approached and I could literally feel the anxiety start to build, I used the awareness technique, but this time I shifted my awareness to the taste in my mouth. I moved my tongue to the roof of my mouth and focussed my attention there. This significantly reduced the anxiety. I was still somewhat uncomfortable on the approach. In the sense that there was an iota of self-consciousness there. So this basically means certain triggers for me are still strong and will take time to treat.

I then later went to the market and purchased a belt and then tried on a belt in the middle of the public, without even being conscious of the fact that I was putting on a belt in the middle of the public. I normally would go to a changing room(there are no changing rooms in the market). This was after I had applied the awareness technique a few times in the day. So yes, it really does work.

You mentioned group situations and speaking. This is one of my strongest hang-ups. I can manage speaking in groups where people are much older than me. I struggle with peers and people younger(teenage, young adults). In these cases it is either hit or miss really. Sometimes the technique works, but sometimes the thought is too strong, that it is hard to come back into awareness. When it works it works really well though. I am now trying a new focal point for my awareness in groups: putting attention into my own speaking. So whereas before I would not draw attention to myself and speak in a soft voice, now when I speak I speak loudly and clearly, that everybody around me can hear what I am saying. So putting attention into my own speech is pulling me into awareness. The confidence of being able to speak more loudly is making it more easier for me to meet new people and join new social scenes.

Really the anxiety over group discussion or performing in front of a group is my last hurdle in my road to recovery on SA. Once that is gone SA will be history. And I think it is starting to erode away now.

[Tim Ed]

Thanks for this new post, WS. I'm intrigued by the creative way in which you adapt the basic awareness technique to different sorts of difficulties and situations. Here you've given us various examples that are interesting, they're interesting 'cause it concerns practical everyday things and in each you adapt in a personal way. I've read about mindfulness before, but no-one suggests such practical ideas: so I suppose this must be the result of you having thought a lot about it and practiced for a long time. :hmmm:

What about avoidance? This is one problem which I struggle with a lot, and I think lots of SAers do too. Specifically: not doing something, so as to avoid the feeling of physical discomfort that I imagine I would get (or shame, or rejection, etc.) if I put myself in the situation.
In my case, avoiding comes a lot from having a "scenario" about the situation (sometimes based on past experiences, sometimes not); it's because I see the scenario that I decide not to go through with it...
Any suggestions, WS?

[Warrior Spirit]

Yes, this is what I really meant by the system itself growing with you as you practice. The more you will practice it, the more you will be able to adapt the system. As more awareness comes, your personality itself begins to change for the better, and with that awareness will come greater creativity. You will naturally begin to adapt things to yourself to bring about greater harmony.

I am very familiar with avoidance. I am actually thinking of avoiding a social situation today. In this case I am considering going to a social of a group I have never even been to, but I may join in the future. This is quite a step for me, because I have no idea who will be there, and my mind is already creating scenorios of what the people there would be like and negative predictions that I will not know what to say. The mind does that, because it does not like unknowns. If something is unknown, it will based on some past evidence, speculate on what the unknown is. In this case the unknown is going to a social of an unknown group with unknown people.

Applying the awareness technique here is simply not give attention to the outcome. Embrace the unknown. This will make life interesting as well. When we go into an unknown situation with preconceived ideas, we tend not to really enjoy being present there. This is, however, is still better than not going at all, because at least we can test out our preconceived ideas, if we do not go, we will never find out whether our preconceived ideas were true or not.

A friend of mine is unemployed and has no friends. Although in terms of confidence there is no significant problem such as an SA like issue, he does struggle with chatting up women. He expects them to reject him because he is unemployed and has no friends. He may even have had rejections which had lead to this belief. As a result he avoids chatting up women now. I said to him being unemployed and having no friends may not necessarily be unattractive to all woman. There maybe some women who will like that, or some woman who overlook that for other aspects about him. But he will never find out without chatting to them in the first place.

Avoidence leads us to losing many opportunities and thus it is not a healthy strategy ultimately. As painful as it is, we do have to face those uncomfortable situations outside of our comfort zone in order to expand our comfort zone. It takes regular practice of exposing oneself to these situations, with awareness, in order to manage them better. As Management is not a theoretical skill; it is a practical skill. At the same time wisdom is needed, we should not attempt something too outside of our comfort zone, because they are harder to manage. The aim should be to gradually expand your comfort zone by taking on situations a little more daring than your current situations. Just like working out at the gym.

I am still not sure whether I will be going to that social today, this is a situation is quite out of my comfort zone. Partly due to my avoidance due to the anxiety and partly because I am doing other things today which overlap with it. Moreover, I do think it is somewhat imposing to go to a social of a group I have not even attended. However, at this moment the warrior spirit within me is telling me to go. I will let you know if I do go!

[Tim Ed]

Good luck for that social! Keep us up to date if it went OK...

As for me, what really bothers me (and worries me sometimes) about avoidance, is that it's become automatic. I don't even have time to wonder whether I should try getting out of my "comfort zone", that I've already made the decision not to do it. I make that decision on the basis of wanting not to suffer, and I think I tell myself at the same time, "That's not for me, even if other people can do it".
So do you think the 3-part system could alter this process and make it easier not to avoid?

[Luke78]

Warrior Spirit this thread is truly inspirational thanks.

[Warrior Spirit]

Thanks Luke I am glad I can be of some help.

Tim, Hurray! I did end up going! However, due to my other group, I ended up getting there late when most of the people there had disappeared. Haha, there were 40 people there originally. When I got there it had dwindled to 10. It was nothing like my scenorio, in fact I just strolled in, and started talking to a few people. It really was that easy. I am going on their next meet-up this weekend.

The awareness on speaking strategy is working like a treat. I speak so clearly and audibly now, most of my awareness goes into what I am saying, rather than "How I am saying it" In my earlier group today it was working like a treat. The general rule seems to be the louder you speak the more you command the respect of people. Of course one needs discretion too.

I think if I can do this, then anybody can do this. I am not particularly the best looking, the most intelligent, the most skillful or talented person. I am pretty much your average joe.

I can see what you mean about the avoidance becoming automatic. I will invite you however to use the word "seem" It seems automatic, because the gap between thought and feeling or stimulus and response is so narrow, that you cannot catch the first trigger before the anxiety and the avoidence starts. Your window of awareness is simply too small. But there is a window of awareness there because you are a conscious being. So the solution here is expand that window of awareness so you are able to notice the gap between thought and feeling.

The 3-part system will expand your awareness. It does this in three ways: It affirms the belief that you are "awareness" through affirmations. These affirmations themselves will lead to you becoming more aware throughout the day. The second way is through regular daily meditation you will train your awareness to expand. And thirdly by practicing mindfulness throughout the day you will be able to increase the amount of times you are in awareness. Eventually, you will become so use to being in awareness, your thought activity will lessen significantly. You will begin to behave more spontaneously and creatively, you will have more energy and as a result you will be more happy and confident.

It does take time, however, as I said in the OP. This system needs regular and sustained practice. The chances are it has taken years and years for you to develop the anxiety and avoidence. So it cannot be expected to go away in just a few weeks of practice. The good news is, it will not even take half as long as it took to form the anxiety and avoidence habits. You should begin to see significant results in a year. Good luck!

[Tim Ed]

Hi WS, I'm glad your social went well, and that you could congratulate yourself on your success!
Thanks for the long post again, especailly the part about avoidance. I understand the time factor bit, and that I'll have to be patient... but it's encouraging to know that someone like you has improved a lot with regularity of practice.
Problem is, so far I've never been able to maintain meditation sessions over months & months. Not that I feel guilty or anything about my lack of discipline. I'm trying to find other ways to do the same sort of work, like more what you call "mindfulness": telling myself to be conscious at various moments in the day i.e. paying more attention to what comes through my senses (instead of being caught up in my thoughts). And your advice to mantra "I am awareness" i use a bit as well, as it's self-encouraging.
Anyway, I HAVE noticed these last days that I manage to be less socially anxious sometimes, in a new sort of way. But i can't really say what's different... maybe it's because doing what you suggest seems to be a right way to change things. Also it's more relaxed than some of the therapy I've been submitted to (sounds like torture, eh? You'd be surprised!)

[Warrior Spirit]

Originally Posted by Tim Ed

Hi WS, I'm glad your social went well, and that you could congratulate yourself on your success!
Thanks for the long post again, especailly the part about avoidance. I understand the time factor bit, and that I'll have to be patient... but it's encouraging to know that someone like you has improved a lot with regularity of practice.
Problem is, so far I've never been able to maintain meditation sessions over months & months. Not that I feel guilty or anything about my lack of discipline. I'm trying to find other ways to do the same sort of work, like more what you call "mindfulness": telling myself to be conscious at various moments in the day i.e. paying more attention to what comes through my senses (instead of being caught up in my thoughts). And your advice to mantra "I am awareness" i use a bit as well, as it's self-encouraging.
Anyway, I HAVE noticed these last days that I manage to be less socially anxious sometimes, in a new sort of way. But i can't really say what's different... maybe it's because doing what you suggest seems to be a right way to change things. Also it's more relaxed than some of the therapy I've been submitted to (sounds like torture, eh? You'd be surprised!)

That's great news Tim that this is bringing down your anxiey levels already. Keep going. I would still advise you do at least 1 meditation a day. It does not have to be anything grande, just 15 min per day is sufficient and you will find this time will increase automatically anyway. Your intuition will guide the process. The meditation practice is basically like a training exercise for your awareness. By giving your awareness 15min+ everyday of thoughtlessness or rather disassociation from your thoughts, your awareness will start to grow, increasing the extent of your awareness in your daily life.

I went to the weekend meet and barely felt any anxiety at all. It was lovely how the group greeted me, talked to me. They seemed to like me. I seem to give out more positive vibes now because of meditation and people tend to be quite warm to me now. There is this biblical quote that I cannot remember verbatim, but it goes something to this effect: "When you go to an unknown island, I(god) will send a messenger/guide to help you" And this is what seems to be happening. Wherever I go now, somebody is there that helps me, often a complete stranger. I definitely believe that his(god) blessings are certainly shining on me.

Throughout this week my anxiety has been far more reduced than usual and as a result I have joined many groups and many social activities. I have been out most of the week. I still have the group discussion hang up though, even amongst friends. I find it particularly hard to practice awareness in these situations. A recoccuring thought is, "I don't know what to say" or "I don't have anything to say" and the identification happens and then I go into avoidence of speaking. However, in those moments where I do catch the window of awareness, I do try to break the pattern. Usually if you can break it even once, it can be enough to get the ball rolling.

I find recently using props really helps as a focal point for awareness. Try this in situations where you know anxiety is very likely. Chew some gum, and whenever your become aware of the trigger thoughts, bring your awareness back to chewing your gum. It is much easier to do this when chewing gum, because the sensations are very strong and tangible. This works equally well with food and drink, especially hot drinks.