Whats your trigger?

Whats the trigger that makes your social anxiety worse.

Mines crowded places.

[ShyDoll]

Uhh.. Crowds..Critisism.. Doing something i need to do (appointments etc.).

Good question lol..

[Deepguy]

People I don't know well, and people I feel are more capable socially than me.

[Meee]

Large crowds (sometimes)
Loud extroverted 'fun' people.
Attractive members of the opposite sex.
Having to make 1 on 1 conversation with someone i don't know.
Etcetera.

[raindog]

when talk of of sex and relationships come up:embarass:

[Ziggy]

Lately, as I get out a bit more, I've found gobby overbearing people, and being given any kind of responsibility are the worst things.

[dolly]

Having to talk to someone who is more chatty, cool and fun than me. When theres a group of people listening to me talk. When I have a conversation with someone I fancy.

[you company man]

Confrontation and dancing are my worst.

[tevian]

Speaking infront of more than one person is really hard. That's always guaranteed to set it off.

[jax]

I find that the worst trigger for me is having to speak to a group of people that I don't know very well, I immediatly seem to loose the connection between my mouth & my brain - everything starts to come out garbled, I can't think of the right words until I'm safe back at home, torturing myself by replaying the mistakes over & over in my head - I'm 56 years old now & have been like this for as long as I can remember, but I am about to begin CBT this week & am hopeful that it is possible to teach an old dog new tricks!
Jax.

[Innervision]

Good luck with the CBT, Jax. You're never too old to improve your life. You're new here I see ... so welcome aboard!

[lee]

people laughing

[Concept]

Emotional investment. If I have nothing to lose, then what people think of me doesn't really bother me much because I know due to my memory that when I retire to my corner it'll all vanish. When I have to do something I'm uncomfortable with towards people I care about then it's paralysis time.

[Ruby1]

Groups of teenage girls and also one to one i'm at my happiest if i can hide in a crowd it's when the pressure is on me to think of fantastic coversation with person peep i just...... can't...do it.....mind...goes.......extremely........

[W!llow]

classroom situations when doing presentations, roleplay that sort of thing.

Any situation where I have to talk about myself for long sometimes even with family. Pubs make me a bit nervous because sometimes people have pestered me in the past and its that not being in control of who might choose to come up and start talking to you.

People who ask me lots of questions or seem judgemental or superior in their attitude..

Answering the phonecall. The unpredictability of it when its the landline not knowing who it is and if I'm going to feel like talking to them, is it going to be one of the people who make me feel really uncomfortable.

[Left Of The Dial]

For me, i find a major problem is when i have to initiate a conversation. I find it almost impossible to talk to someone i don't know very well, unless they come up to me and talk to me first.

Talking to strangers, and sometimes even talking to people I already know.

Being the centre of attention really troubles me too - I absolutely hate it as I'm incredibly inhibited around people in general.

Fear of embarrassment, ridicule or humiliation.

I find eye contact very difficult and almost painful at times.

Using telephones.

[Psychocandy85]

Originally Posted by Concept

Emotional investment. If I have nothing to lose, then what people think of me doesn't really bother me much because I know due to my memory that when I retire to my corner it'll all vanish. When I have to do something I'm uncomfortable with towards people I care about then it's paralysis time.

Hammer. Nail. Head.

With people I don't care for I can probably appear normal (well, in a haughty, aloof sort of way, bordering on - if not very actually - rude). Hell, I've even been accused of being brash and pushy! Ha! But in front of the people I really want to like and respect me....oh god, it's a really pitiful sight to behold.

I'm afraid I can only do one of two moods: Standoffish, detached and condescending; or simpering, submissive and fawning.
To make matters worse, I oscillate between them with shameful alacrity. :/

[Concept]

Originally Posted by Psychocandy85

With people I don't care for I can probably appear normal (well, in a haughty, aloof sort of way, bordering on - if not very actually - rude). Hell, I've even been accused of being brash and pushy! Ha! But in front of the people I really want to like and respect me....oh god, it's a really pitiful sight to behold.

I'm afraid I can only do one of two moods: Standoffish, detached and condescending; or simpering, submissive and fawning.
To make matters worse, I oscillate between them with shameful alacrity. :/

What makes it all the more frustrating is that people who do show an interest take it as read that you're simply not reciprocating or in possession of the desire to reflect it back. That usually ends up being something which wedges even more uncomfortable, miscommunicated barriers in, and the beginnings for possible friendships or acquaintances end up disappearing as fast as they arrive.

Thankfully I'm not usually in the position to make a fool out of myself in the way that envisage, but I can relate to being constantly standoffish with family I barely know. It's not that I even wish for people to interpret myself in that way, it's simply my lacking the knowledge and instinctive learning which comes from becoming comfortable in the company of strangers. The hooks and the queues aren't being recognised.

Out in my town, where it's a very wolf-like atmosphere when the crowds are busy, having 'don't bother me' written in my mannerisms often helps prevent the usual crowds from giving me grief. There comes a point though where defenses go on autopilot and although you're aware of your own self-erected barriers, it becomes hard to distinguish between people I feel imposed by to those who I don't. That makes simple, ordinary conversations with people I don't know next to impossible (my unapproachable nature did scare off Jehovah***8217;s Witnesses who came knocking at my door once looking to convert me so it does have it's odd, occasional pluses).

You speak of oscillation. If you know the ways in which your moods rule your ability to socialise, have you thought about the ways in which they lessen when you're on your own and how you could possibly bring that ease of mind in to more alien situations?

[Pal]

Confrontation
Critisism
People I feel are more capable socially than me
Loud extroverted 'fun' people
When talk of of sex and relationships come up
People who seem judgemental or superior in their attitude
Fear of embarrassment, ridicule or humiliation.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by MasterCaster

Why don't you ask yourself a question you actually have to think about for example. What purpose does it serve me to consistently dwell on the thing's that make my anxiety worse? None

Sometime it can be useful to know your own limitations and weaknesses.

[misslaura]

feeling inferior
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