Exhausted

[Superfred]

The past year of my life has been so emotionally draining that today I don't even feel like getting up.

Each day I seem to fall deeper and deeper into this dark hole and people around me keep trying to drag me out but the resistance is making me feel even more exhausted. I think I have surrendered and I think it's healthy. I just wished those around me could see that and simply just be there for me, unconditionally.

No real purpose to this thread. Just getting the words out of my head. I am only up because my Mum coerced me with beans and toast. She now wants me to help her in the garden - the mere thought of it makes me feel down. I know she means well but I really am 'ill' right now.

[Superfred]

I can't stop crying. Didn't help in the garden because I don't have the energy. I can't think of words to describe this pain I am feeling right now. It is unbearable. Sometimes I cry so hard I loose my breath. My eyes feel sore.

[rayman]

Sorry your feeling this way fred, i know exactly what your going through as i was like this last week, i could have written the same words.
Take comfort in knowing that it will pass, i couldnt get out of bed last week never ate and couldnt sleep.
Now i can eat a little and last night was the first sound sleep i got even though it was only about 6 hours it was so refreshing to me.

[Superfred]

Originally Posted by rayman

Sorry your feeling this way fred, i know exactly what your going through as i was like this last week, i could have written the same words.
Take comfort in knowing that it will pass, i couldnt get out of bed last week never ate and couldnt sleep.
Now i can eat a little and last night was the first sound sleep i got even though it was only about 6 hours it was so refreshing to me.

Thanks Rayman.

I felt at one point I was getting better but feel worse now than before. I guess this pain is cyclical and the harder I hurt the more I am letting go. Today has been a very tough day and I can see tomorrow being harder. I'm just telling myself to hold on, hold on until it passes.

[rayman]

Originally Posted by Superfred

Thanks Rayman.

I felt at one point I was getting better but feel worse now than before. I guess this pain is cyclical and the harder I hurt the more I am letting go. Today has been a very tough day and I can see tomorrow being harder. I'm just telling myself to hold on, hold on until it passes.

I know m8 Monday was the first day i felt ok then , on Tuesday i was back to the depths, today i am sort of numb ... but ok.
Just be gentle with your self.

[chrissy coleman]

Originally Posted by Superfred

The past year of my life has been so emotionally draining that today I don't even feel like getting up.

Each day I seem to fall deeper and deeper into this dark hole and people around me keep trying to drag me out but the resistance is making me feel even more exhausted. I think I have surrendered and I think it's healthy. I just wished those around me could see that and simply just be there for me, unconditionally.

No real purpose to this thread. Just getting the words out of my head. I am only up because my Mum coerced me with beans and toast. She now wants me to help her in the garden - the mere thought of it makes me feel down. I know she means well but I really am 'ill' right now.

Are you currently seeing anybody about this? As you seem to be very depressed right now, and you really do need to see someone hun.

[Superfred]

Originally Posted by chrissy coleman

Are you currently seeing anybody about this? As you seem to be very depressed right now, and you really do need to see someone hun.

Hey Chrissy,

I have a doctor appointment next Tuesday and am seeing a counselor on Monday. I may have to look into medication. During traumatic events is it ok to go on meds for say 6 months to get you by? It may really help me get on my feet again but last time I was on them I felt 'out of phase' and a bit whooshy. I am scared to go back on them.

[Superfred]

Originally Posted by rayman

I know m8 Monday was the first day i felt ok then , on Tuesday i was back to the depths, today i am sort of numb ... but ok.
Just be gentle with your self.

Have you been through something recently to set this off?

In case you hadn't read any of my previous threads I have been going through quite a difficult break up which has stirred a lot of old problems in my life.

[Everleigh]

Originally Posted by Superfred

The past year of my life has been so emotionally draining that today I don't even feel like getting up.

Each day I seem to fall deeper and deeper into this dark hole and people around me keep trying to drag me out but the resistance is making me feel even more exhausted. I think I have surrendered and I think it's healthy. I just wished those around me could see that and simply just be there for me, unconditionally.

No real purpose to this thread. Just getting the words out of my head. I am only up because my Mum coerced me with beans and toast. She now wants me to help her in the garden - the mere thought of it makes me feel down. I know she means well but I really am 'ill' right now.

hi superfred,
I can totally relate where u just are so drained and exhausted that u have no energy. You just surrender as its all too hard.

I spoke to a psychologist about these symptoms and was told I have major depression and am getting some help with this atm, it may be useful to speak to a good psychologist as they can really help. hope u feel better soon.

[fruitloop]

Hope you feel better soon Superfred, just hang in there, sounds like maybe you've slipped into depression.
If you think that meds might help you, you could ask your doctor if there are ones that won't make you feel like the other ones did, explain your fears and hopefully the doctor can help you find something that will help.
It can get better, you've just got to give it time, and take any kind of help you need
I know that I get days where it's a struggle to get out of bed, and I think it's true that sometimes you just need to stay in bed, if you feel like what you need is some down time, maybe you could explain this to your mum?
Tell her that you just need to spend some time recharging your batteries, it can be very tiring fighting these feelings, it's not giving up, it's just giving yourself a chance to regain a bit of fight
Good Luck with the doctor!

bugschivers

[Superfred]

Originally Posted by earthandocean

hi superfred,
I can totally relate where u just are so drained and exhausted that u have no energy. You just surrender as its all too hard.

I spoke to a psychologist about these symptoms and was told I have major depression and am getting some help with this atm, it may be useful to speak to a good psychologist as they can really help. hope u feel better soon.

Thanks . today hasn't been so hard. I am still tearful but that's expected. The problem is it's days like today that make me feel like I am all ok again and don't need the help, that is until I have another bad day :/

I will see my counselor on Monday and see what he thinks.

Originally Posted by Bugschivers

Hope you feel better soon Superfred, just hang in there, sounds like maybe you've slipped into depression.
If you think that meds might help you, you could ask your doctor if there are ones that won't make you feel like the other ones did, explain your fears and hopefully the doctor can help you find something that will help.
It can get better, you've just got to give it time, and take any kind of help you need
I know that I get days where it's a struggle to get out of bed, and I think it's true that sometimes you just need to stay in bed, if you feel like what you need is some down time, maybe you could explain this to your mum?
Tell her that you just need to spend some time recharging your batteries, it can be very tiring fighting these feelings, it's not giving up, it's just giving yourself a chance to regain a bit of fight
Good Luck with the doctor!

bugschivers

Thanks

When I feel positive I feel like I will get better. However, when I am having a bad day it feels like all my problems are here to stay and that the positiveness was just an illusion.

A wierd thing about the meds: I was on them when I met my ex and then came off them. She disapproved of the whole 'I am depressed' thing and said so to me. Going back on the meds makes me feel like I failed her and myself.

I am really working on letting her go but I have recently realised that this break up has brought about a lot of issue and pain I have felt in the past and never properly greived. I think if I can work through these issues I may find that I am a lot more able to cope with lifes challenges. Many years ago I said to myself that I only want to achiev 2 things in my life, be in a band and have a girlfriend. When I had had them both I told myself that when the relationship ended then my life would end. This shows how distrurbed I used to be. This needs to change.

Thanks for your support.

[fruitloop]

Originally Posted by superfred

She disapproved of the whole 'I am depressed' thing and said so to me. Going back on the meds makes me feel like I failed her and myself.

I think that some people find it hard to understand how difficult it can be to be depressed, and how it is even harder to break out of being depressed. I think that a lot of people experience times in their life where they have a low mood, but these feelings pass in time for them, and then they think that this is the full extent of depression for everyone.
For people with a more severe experience of depression, you need to actually address the depression, with medication, therapy, etc.
I think that for the people I mentioned in the first paragraph, they can't understand why someone would need all this help when they just "got over" their low mood in a matter of days or weeks, on their own.
Getting help to overcome your depression isn't a sign of weakness, it is a sign of your own inner strength, people who won't accept when they need help are the weak ones, because they will never overcome their problems on their own.
I would look on this as actually being responsible, by taking meds and going through therapy and addressing the depression head on, you can reduce the chance of the depression reoccurring, you can reduce how long it lasts, this can improve your future.
There is nothing shameful in accepting help for problems you cannot solve on your own, and as far as anyone coping with serious depression goes, everyone deserves a fricking medal for every day that they get out bed in the morning!

bugschivers

[Warmer]

Hey Superfred, just wanted to say im sorry to hear your having a tough time recently. Try and be kind to yourself.
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that our feelings have been wrong before so perhaps they can be wrong again this time, things can get better despite the way we're feeling.

Hope your feel better soon

[Superfred]

Originally Posted by Bugschivers

I think that some people find it hard to understand how difficult it can be to be depressed, and how it is even harder to break out of being depressed. I think that a lot of people experience times in their life where they have a low mood, but these feelings pass in time for them, and then they think that this is the full extent of depression for everyone.
For people with a more severe experience of depression, you need to actually address the depression, with medication, therapy, etc.
I think that for the people I mentioned in the first paragraph, they can't understand why someone would need all this help when they just "got over" their low mood in a matter of days or weeks, on their own.
Getting help to overcome your depression isn't a sign of weakness, it is a sign of your own inner strength, people who won't accept when they need help are the weak ones, because they will never overcome their problems on their own.
I would look on this as actually being responsible, by taking meds and going through therapy and addressing the depression head on, you can reduce the chance of the depression reoccurring, you can reduce how long it lasts, this can improve your future.
There is nothing shameful in accepting help for problems you cannot solve on your own, and as far as anyone coping with serious depression goes, everyone deserves a fricking medal for every day that they get out bed in the morning!

bugschivers

Very true bugs. The only thing that is bugging me is whether I am really depressed or what I am going through is natural during a break up. If it is natural I may need to whether the storm and see if in time I get better. If these feelings continue for a longer duration than expected maybe then I will look into antidepressants. But again, I shall speak to my counselor about it and see what he thinks.

Thanks for your comment

Originally Posted by King_Yama

Hey Superfred, just wanted to say im sorry to hear your having a tough time recently. Try and be kind to yourself.
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that our feelings have been wrong before so perhaps they can be wrong again this time, things can get better despite the way we're feeling.

Hope your feel better soon

Thanks King,

When I do feel better maybe I should bake you all some cookies or something :P Just to show my appreciation.

[Leif Erikson]

I know exactly how you feel. Have you been tested for anaemia by any chance because that might be the cause.

Otherwise it may be down to depression, anxiety and stress which are very dabilitating.

I find that I don't have the energy to do anything, watch TV, don't have the energy to cook and then don't sleep so it is a circle. I was supposed to go to the Am dram thing yesterday and I watched Kill Bill instead.

The best thing to do is kill the cycle - plan your week with what you want to do and do a weekly shop for food so there is always food in the cupboards (both quick and cooking needed stuff like chops).

I'll let you know how I get on.



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