Do you panic when shouted at?

[Clonker]

A lot of people I know would just shout back and not take any of it, but when I get shouted at for anything, even the littlest thing, I get all shaky and panic. I then end up crying and trembling... I find that having a job really stresses me out.

Anyone else here get this?

[Clonker]

Originally Posted by Victoria Lucas

I get shaky and start crying but I also shout back twice as loud.

I wish I could do that!

[Clonker]

Originally Posted by Victoria Lucas

It's just embarrassing when I want people to take me seriously and I'm simultaneously screaming and bawling. I look like a psycho.

I hope you learn how to stand up for yourself a bit more. Unfortunately I have no words of advice to give you. I wouldn't have thought it necessary to shout at employees so maybe have a word with someone higher up?

Yeah I understand how that could get really annoying, it's like a mixture of emotions! Thank you, I will try my best to stand up for myself more, if she tells the boss on me, I'll explain my side!

[Dougella]

It depends who's doing the shouting. I can stand up for myself with people I know well, but if it was someone in a workplace I would just crumble.

You certainly shouldn't be getting shouted at at work though!

[Ronnie_Pickering]

Yeah shouldn't be getting shouted at.

[Naomi4]

I have been shouted at by a fellow worker and as a volunteer by the manager. I find it best not to say anything in work type situations let them rant and make idiots of themselves, they only show themselves up.

[Dandelion10]

I was shouted at today by someone who used to be a friend (not ever really a friend actually) and she'd lost her job and took it out on me calling me a bitch and making snide comments, she kept passing us and would say something every single time.

I was sat on a bench with my friends and at first I just ignored it, laughed it off and was a little scared bc there was such vitriol in her voice that the possibility of her hitting me was real.

After a while it started playing on my mind and I felt wronged, partly bc the people I was with didn't stick up for me or anything. I went and confronted her and she was sat down, just as well bc I'm tiny. I noticed she was shaking as she tried talking over me and I was told to leave, she had the last word.

But ultimately she left me alone and I felt she had a lot more anger and sadness going on within her than I did.

It sounds like you are sensitive to criticism Clonker but shaking or feeling like crying is really nothing to be ashamed of, it's normal to a point, we're not robots.

[kirbycrackle]

Think it's normal to be shaky due to the adrenaline surge for men or women?

I dunno, I wouldn't cry but lots do ( I've seen blokes do it) and it's just normal I believe, especially of you aren't use to it, and who is really.

Shout back is my theory , even if you are terrified because most aggressors are usually just as scared underneath.

[Between The Bars]

I can't stand loud voices, or people shouting at me, when this happens, what I really want to do, is punch them, right under their jaw, but again anxiety (so far) has stopped me doing this.

[Oddity]

People don't really shout at me, I can't recall the last time anyone did. I think I'd just stare at them.

[Stotch]

Its circumstance dependent but generally speaking shouting back will not calm things down. Especially in a work scenario, if your boss walks in all they will see is 2 employees shouting at each other. You can be assertive without being aggressive, maybe next time let the other shout away until they run out of steam and then say "now you've calmed down can we talk like civilised adults".

Thats the humane way to deal with it and will usually work unless you want to be malicious then thats a whole other chapter.

[ExSAguy]

Since ive gained self confidence Ive stood up for myself a lot more.
Nearly been in four fights because of not taking shit though.

Do people respect me more? I have no idea but I am happier with who I am.

[waine]

Yes always feel jumpy anyway

[Scott03]

Very much so. I hate being shouted at. I just fall apart mentally.

[Indigo_]

If it's family (not that we argue very often) I'll give as good as I get. Anyone else and my anxiety always gets the better of me. I hate confrontation. I won't say anything back, will think of thousands of things I could/should have said at the time and replay things over and over in my head. I hold it together until I'm alone and then I'll sit and cry.

[Mr. Spaceman]

Yes I just freeze up and retreat into myself like a child. I can't shout or argue to save my life.

[Cairn]

No one has shouted at me for years outside of family.

If they did they'd get it back and get told to **** off, I'd think meh, or just laugh at them.

[BritishPeace]

I have found this common in certain people, usually those like me whio were traumatised as children, it always reminds me of when I was a kid and I could do nothing back against adults who were physically and mentally abusing me. I used to shout back and fight back as a youngster but realised it had no effect, so I stopped and just had to take what I was given. I turn into a little kid again when shouted at.

[Z.]

I tend to laugh, which makes them even angrier, which makes me find it even more humorous. Not the most socially acceptable response really.

[Rachel87]

I used to have a manager who would tell me off for the most minor things pretty much every day, to the point where I saw my doctor for the stress it was causing me. (At least two others at work had been signed off with stress caused by her) Anyway, by the time she told me off for doing something HELPFUL (because it confused her...) I had lost all respect for her and had more faith in myself which made it easier to brush it off the next time


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[purplerose]

I wish I had the balls to shout back at someone if they shouted at me ! I used to cry after someone had shouted at me, I was always to scared to speak up for myself.

[Ronnie_Pickering]

I think I panic when I done something wrong. I mused that today. When I was bought up, it could be punishment for a mistake. So it's a weird world when people don't punish, because in my head I can self berate. And instinctively expect others to berate me.